Kajira Musings

back

2011-07-23T09:56:00.001-07:00

I am not back in SL Gor but nearly a year has elapsed since I took the blog down and the hurts and reasons for not wanting it here are diminished. I am going to try to share some of my path out of the darkness here, and maybe a new chapter might be written, who knows.

Abandoned

2010-08-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

Although my tears have been enough to fill a river, I can no longer sail away from the inevitable conclusion that I have been abandoned.

No formal word of release has been given and yet the reality is that there has not been enough contact or meaningful interaction over the past few months for me to sustain the pretence that I have a Master in SL any longer.

I don't understand the reasons and events leave me in a cruel limbo. Only once in the last month has he been in SL. He wiped away my tears and told me that although he had been "lost" and walking on paths far from me, he had missed me, was here now and all was well. Then he disappeared again without a word as two weeks passed, ignoring my missives, not responding to any IM or emails sent to any address.

Finally I had to make an OOC deadline for myself to give up.... take off my collar.... and be born anew as an abandoned one. In our old city, 14 days was the time for a girl to be declared as abandoned and I have been left without a word for more than 14 days on several occasions this year. I can't go on like this. It is wrecking the rest of my SL and RL too. As long as the collar was in place and he was aknowledged as Master in my profile, I looked for him every day. Each "ping" of an IM I hoped was him. Each glimpse of some new "online status" announcements I hoped to see the loved name. . . and each time I logged off without seeing him I crashed into depression and wondered, worried, wrote another note from love, sadness, anger, worry. No one can do that forever. It erodes sanity, productivity and self-respect.

Where to from here?

I have no idea. For now my goals are simply to get through each day without crying or doing anything desperate and nutty. Mostly I am succeeding. Doing anything productive.... now that's a struggle. Very simply, I am a basket case right now.

I don't know the future of this blog right now.

If there are posts you enjoy or would like to keep, please feel free to make copies for your own use. My plan is to delete the blog in its entirety when the time feels right. I will allow at least a week for people to come and copy any favorite post, no matter when the moment comes when I feel it is time for me to release these words from my heart and experience.

I will always love you Master and thank you for your time with me. I hope one day I will come to understand why your paths led you so far away from me in ways that lead to healing rather than blame or hurt.

Does one ever graduate from slavery?

2010-04-12T13:58:00.000-07:00

A provocative question.

Lately my Master has not had time for me. He's not been well, he's over-worked but.... this girl senses that she's not as high in his priorities as she once was. How I feel about that changes with the day and the hour. My feelings for him remain loving. I worry about him, then feel a bit of a pulling back of that worry as I wonder if the illness is but an excuse for him taking a break from SL while he thinks things over.

A hot kajira is a terrible thing to waste, and yet this girl has been in limbo for weeks, neither released nor called to the furs nor used in any way.

I review my shortcomings as a kajira and the missteps we took along the way in our mutual path. As a new kajira with an experienced Master, I was unready for some of the challenges he gave me and balked and rebelled and broke at times under them. I worry that by the time I was ready and fully opened to his Mastery his whip hand was so weary he started to give up. I don't know.

These musings do not lead to understanding. Only my Master's words can do that.

In the meantime I find myself thinking about the uncertain future. What if I am released? Where will I go? What will I do?

More and more as I confront these thoughts I find myself feeling that I may have learned what I needed to learn from this aspect of myself. While I would willingly stay in this beloved collar for a longtime, a lifetime, I do not love the collar for it's own sake but only the Master whose name is on the collar. If he chooses to release me, I will walk a solitary path of reflection and healing, not rush like a crushed thing to another shelter.

Berries out of season

2010-02-07T10:49:00.000-08:00

There then was nature’s miracle,
Ah! Sweet berries out of season
Springtime’s blessing bestowed
upon the cusp of winter

And we two travellers,
by fate, fortune or stupidity,
upon a path few travelled.
Ill-favored as it was and
treacherous with rock slides,
nettles and the gnarled roots of pines.

Yet we two fools alone were there
to reap the bounty of such rare sweetness,
borne among the nettles of canes
bent by both early frost and weight of fruit

Laughing we gathered berries
without a care to bloodied fingers
and fed them to each other.
Lips stained by berries and our own blood,
stark stains of life upon two lined faces,
Summers’ tans long had faded
But there we were alive and happy in that moment
savouring each sweet drop afforded us

Me Feb 2010

A Musical Roleplay Adventure Jan 31 @ 11 am SLT

2010-01-30T13:59:00.000-08:00

SONGS OF A WANDERING HARP A MUSICAL ROLEPLAY
City of Laura

The Story:

Long days ago ago the story began . . . a ragged wandering harpist approached Laura's Head Merchant Fuzsea in the teaming port of Schendi. HIs harp strapped on his back, the minstrel's gaunt visage told a tale of destitution and his wary glances betrayed an aura of desperation.

As Laura's merchant oversaw the loading of rare spices and goods that would fetch a good price when safely brought to port in the North, the bard grew near, keeping well to the shadows. A corner of his gilded harp peaked out from its leather wrappings on his back, a tell-tale clue that this wanderer had seen better days. The Merchant's eyes narrowed thinking, "Surely there is a tale behind this odd one".

"Are you the Master of this ship? Will you be returning to Laura?" the Minstrel called out from his place among the crates.

"Ai" Fuzsea nodded, his face an ureadable mask as he eyed his girl sternly about her task of recording the loaded goods. He had taken to personally seeing that the cargo was recorded correctly, with none of her suspicious "mistakes".

"What price passage on this ship?"

"Five gold tarns. Tis a perilous journey and looking at your scrawny bones and hands unaccustomed to a man's work, I don't expect you could lend much work to pay your passage."'

The bard pulled out a thin purse and showed the Merchant the small collection of copper and scant silver within. "This is all I have and I must get to Laura!" The Merchant laughed and gave him a shove, "Then lad you must earn more coin or sprout wings and fly. Those coins are not enough for passage on a garbage barge, but thank you for the goodly laugh. It does my digestion good" and a healthy belch followed as the Merchant turned back to his task.

The Minstrel's shoulders fell. He gathered his cloak about him and he started back to the City. Pausing he looked back and saw the Merchant with his hand on his girl's collar, pulling her to her knees and snatching up her wax tablet angrily as he fingered the whip at his belt. This could be his chance to slip on the ship undetected. With haste and stealth he doubled back and secreted himself among the casts to be loaded.

****

It was several days out of port when the Minstrel was detected. Hauled to the Captain for judgement, the Merchant scowled and told his men to throw the impudent stowaway overboard despite the man's anguished pleas for mercy. As they tied him, one of the men said, "It's long nights and hard ones on the sea. Let him play for us before we cast him into the sea"

"Why should I play for you, you filthy villains?" cried the Wanderer. "You'll be killing me anyway".

The crafty merchant pondered. A happy crew was a good investment. "I'll make you a bargain, then lad. If you please the crew tonight, you buy a day's journey and another day of life."

Begrudgingly the man drew forth the harp and began to tune its strings as word spread and the men and scant passengers came up to gather on the deck in the moonlight. Once the hands struck the strings a change came over the musician as a magical light seemed to come to his face and his eyes wandered to a land unknown. So were the listeners transported by the sounds of the gilded harp and the tales of wonder told in music. As heads began to nod in sleep, it was clear that the bard had more than won his day's reprieve.

And so the game continued nightly until the ship neared Laura. While taking on supplies and unloading goods onto the river boats for transport to Laura on the final leg of the journey, the Merchant sent word ahead. He was bringing a captive to the City of Laura for the entertainment of the Citizens. If he pleased them, his freedom and passage was paid and his crime was forgiven. If not the Merchant would keep him as a captive on the ship for the crew's pleasure.

***************

Join us for a Musical Roleplay!

BIO:
Mihangel (Angel) is proud to be one of the rare breed of harpist who happen to be male!

Living in Wales and working across the globe, he is an accomplished performer, who has played since he was five years old, plays both the Welsh lever and orchestral harp, he has worked hard to show the breadth of his instrument.

Playing a fairly wide repetoire - from traditional Welsh folk music, pure classical pieces by Debussy et al to the more complicated works to Karl Davies and Salzedo, Angel has performed in many of the worlds larger venues - Millenium Centre,Cardiff; Royal Albert Hall, London; Sydney Opera House, Sydney to name but a few.

He is one of the most accomplished classical musicians performing in Second Life and is obviously a lot of fun and a very good sport.

(This concert is brought to Laura through collaboration with the MUSIC ISLAND CONCERT SERIES. http://musicisland.ning.com.)

Crawling

2010-01-17T09:46:00.000-08:00

Some while ago I was very bad and as a punishment my Master commanded me to crawl naked in his presence until further notice. I over-reacted to this punishment at the time and the Master decided it was being perceived by me as different than his intention and so he rescinded the order. Like a good kajira should, I felt sad to be deprived of my Master's punishment due to my weakness.

I never like to fail my Master and I wanted to understand what he intended me to learn from crawling so I have thought about it since then and experimented with crawling and thinking about my reactions.

Crawling is de-huma,nizing and while one clings to the privileges of humanity as essential at all times, crawling creates panic. But the kajira is called "beast" and no matter what your roleplay may allow at other times, it is important to feel comfortable and gloriously sexy as that beast.

Stripped and ordered to her knees the girl loses her voice and humanity. She snarls as the Master slips the leash on her collar and drags her to heel. She feels the lash upon her back ordering her to silence and the snarl turns to a whimper as she lifts her tail in submission to the one who owns her.

Her proud beautiful beast's body sinuously crawls as the Master commands, comfortable in her coiled sexuality. The vent of her heat is exposed and the redness signals her submission and readiness for her Master as she crawls to do his bidding, flashing him the occasional spirited look of defiance earning a cautionary slap to her flanks to centre her attention on her submissive conditioning.

This is the place without words. A place to go when words have failed. She crawls until she remembers that she only walks and talks with his permission. When she displeases she will be reduced to beast again, not to harm her, but to put her back in touch with the beautiful beast that pleases. From this comes all good and love.

The Master's Couch is his domain

2009-12-27T08:41:00.000-08:00

The girl has been welcomed onto the Master's couch often lately and she had grown accustomed to the comfort there, coming to think of it as "their" bed and the place beside her Master as her rightful place.

One evening the Master made a point of chastising her for not following closely enough and so she was being very attentive at his boots, not letting him get further than a few yards before hurrying to his boots, while also staying out of his way, discerning whether she should be behind him or at his boots awaiting command.

In this mode of thinking, she made a mistake that the Master would have to discipline her for to break her from a bad habit of thinking. She followed him to his couch and as he flopped down in exhaustion, she crept into his arms unbidden. The Master gave a hearty laugh. "Comfortable are you my girl?"

"Oh yes, Master" said the bold girl as she snuggled into the Master's furs.

Suddenly she felt two fingers jammed between neck and collar and her face turned forcefully to gaze into the Master's burning eyes. She tried to look away but it was impossible. She was held fast and transfixed.

"Did I ask you into my furs, girl?"

"No, Master. The girl was only trying to follow as bidden".

"And where is your place to follow, girl?"

"At your boots, Master"

"I see girl that you know your place. Yet you have willfully ignored it. Is that true, girl?""

"No, Master. The girl did not mean to do so?"

"Which is it, girl? You either do not know your place, in which case I must give you a great deal of time under the whip to re-train you as you must be slipping badly. Or, you know your place but saucily chose to ignore it which means you must be punished for this transgression. Tell me which is the case? Because I see a kajira in my furs uninvited and I demand the explanation."

The girls face scrunched into a little ball of confusion and her eyes filled with tears. Try as she might she knew she had no option than to admit she was in the wrong.

Quietly she said, "I know my place Master. I forgot for a minute. The girl has grown too used to being in the Master's furs."

The Master's face softened a little at her humble manner and honest admission.

"Girl it is my fault also, as your Master. I do love to cuddle my little kajira bear in the furs. You are warm in the winter chill. But I see the error in my ways that you are losing discipline. You must remember your place, or others will teach you more harshly, should you be forgetful."

Still holding the girls collar, the Master roughly pushed her from his couch with one boot, swiftly with a practiced businesslike manner the Master tied the girls wrists to a slave ring at the foot of his couch, putting one foot on the small of her back, he raised her hindquarters in to the submissive pose, head down, hindquarters raised. Running his hands over the lines of her body, secured to the slave ring, he sighed with pleasure at her bearing.

"Ah girl, how it pleases your Master to have such a beautiful beast as you tied to the foot of my couch, perhaps I shall leave you like this nightly, what do you say girl?"

The girl's face was pushed to the furs, voice partially gagged and unhappy in her predicament, words did not come quickly.

The Master chuckling decides that his girl needs some focus for her submissive response and taking out his small slave whip and straddling her back striped her hindquarters swiftly with a few sharp cracks.

"What do you say girl? Do you like being at the foot of your Master's couch?"

"Yes, Master!!! Yes!" the girl exclaimed.

"Ah, that's better, mine. I am glad you like it as that is where you will stay, tonight".

And with that the Master heaved himself back into his sleeping furs, pulled his wrappings about him and chuckled softly a few times at the discomfiture of his girl who was learning a needed lesson on the cold floor, and would be all the sweeter in his arms in future nights. He missed her, but he was a Master and would do without her warmth so that his slave would not grow spoiled.

When he released her, he would be watching her manner carefully. He expected that she would be more exacting, careful and cautious. This one had spirit and so needed... and craved... frequent reminders of his power and the respect he demanded. She knew that she had two choices, give him what he demanded or take her chances when he grew tired of her... a new Master who might be worse, or death if she angered her Master too much. The Master knew she wanted to live and knew she wanted him as her Master, hungered for him, and so she would learn her lesson.

The couch was the Masters and he would share it when he willed, how he willed, and a girl should never presume that a place by his side was hers.

Penitence: "I'm sorry, Master"

2009-11-17T10:22:00.000-08:00

Where does penitence begin?

The girl cannot begin to regret her actions until she knows in her heart that she has been in the wrong and that is very hard for us modern women to admit. We feel we have to be right all the time, we can't "let down our guard" for a minute in the competitive "dog eat dog" world we are forced out into, even when that is not our natures.

In the M/s relationship, the definition of what is "wrong" is simple. Anything that displeases the Master is wrong. Hopefully we have a wise, caring Master who is not arbitrary and unfair in his assessments of wrong-doing. But once a Master has made his desires known in a matter, if a girl fails to follow his instructions, or falls short in her duties to learn in the chosen manner, she should know that she has done wrong. Sometimes she fights this knowledge with self-justifications, excuses, or plain bullshit.

Punishment is needed at these tests in the M/s relationship for more than one reason. First it restores the balance before the relationship is ruined by the girl's harmful actions. Secondly, and I think most importantly it is an arena for dialogue as the punishment is roleplayed out. The thoughtful Master chooses a punishment that fits the crime and also provides the vehicle for the girl to consider what she has done and what she will do differently in future. The wise Master allows the girl some time alone before she learns if and how she is to be punished and the wise Master allows the girl some time to recover and readjust after the punishment so that she can resume her place at his boots with her new attitude happily in place. He should not let her come to him still sullen and resentful.

There are so many options for a Master to punish a girl and clever Masters think of new ones that are perfect for a particular girl. The worst punishment for a slave is to be deprived of her Master's presence and deprived of the privilege of pleasuring his body. That is like death to the slave. It is important for the Master who uses this punishment to let the girl know that she IS being punished, as this is easier for her to bear than the thought that she is no longer wanted.

Gagging a slave who has had displeasing words is a fitting punishment and it gives her silent time to reflect on her speech and think of new ways of speaking in a pleasing manner in future. Some Master's roleplay putting pepper or soap in the girl's mouth. I can imagine that this would form an image that would make one very attentive to the formation of words for sometime to come.

The hardest punishment for me was being ordered to crawl for a time, but I think it fit the crime. I had been sneaky like a snake so crawling was appropriate and I did learn from my time on my knees.

All of these solitary punishments presume that the girl understands and accepts what she has done wrong and ... the Master fully understands why he is angry. A lot of times there is unfocused anger and the slave is puzzled and confused, still filled with excuses for the behaviour. This is when I think it is best to take out the whip, or the switch, the paddle, or turn her over your knee, Masters, whichever works for you as a direct communication of your displeasure.

As the Master administers the strokes he is forced by the intensity of the roleplay to articulate his anger, his displeasure, his pain at the girl's behaviour. He draws out all the excuses from her until she runs out of them. She probably "hears" him for the first time. And he hears how she has been justifying this behaviour to herself and learns the nature of the flaw in the girl. One by one he shows her the error in her thinking and punishes each error as a stiff reminder to her that going down that road in her thinking will only wind her up where she is, on the Master's whipping post and feeling his angry scowl upon her. At some point in this interaction the moment of penitence comes to the girl. She realizes she has willfully disregarded the Master's instructions or otherwise offended. She knows she allowed herself to be tricked by her own wrong thinking and she is truly sorry for the first time. This is when she opens herself to be schooled by the Master in a better way of thinking and acting.

The moment of penitence is like a light being turned on in a dark room. All of a sudden what was dark and hidden is there in clear relief, uncomplicated by the murky shadows of excuses, and self-justifications. The Master's heart leaps with joy as he sees his girl turn this corner and he melts with tenderness for his misguided darling girl who can sometimes be so misled. In this moment the girl submits more deeply to her Master because he has opened up a dark chamber in her spirit and shown her the way out, if she will only take his hand and follow him out.

Tearfully she lifts her eyes to meet the smiling eyes of her Master. She marvels to see that she has been punished but is now forgiven. She feels unworthy but determined to try harder than ever to be the girl he believes she can be.

Ready and waiting for it

2009-11-17T09:08:00.000-08:00

As the girl knelt in obeisance at her Master's boots, his eyes devoured every line of his owned beast with pleasure. With amusement he noted her bottom cheeks twitching in nervousness, the plump orbs showing no recent marks of chastisement. Indeed why should they? She was a good girl, pleasing to him in almost every way, working hard to pleasure him, to not offend. And that was exactly why he knew that his slave was twitching now under his gaze. He had not recently reminded her that she was owned and just how she was owned. As a good Master he needed to rectify that and soon, or she would despair and grow away from him.

Removing his belt and coiling it once across his hand, the Master gave the girl the intimacy of feeling a lash from the Master's own belt. Not to punish her but to reassure her that she was still owned, still his, still subject to his discipline. The delicious double sound of leather on soft slave flesh followed by leather snapping on leather from the doubled belt was a sensual sound to be savored. The Master's keen sense of smell sniffed the air as his girl immediately changed her scent subtlely to one of mingled fear, submission and arousal. Playfully, the Master draped the weight of his belt over the girls back, playfully slapping at her cheeks. Without being asked the girl tenderly and lingeringly kissed his belt and resumed her prostrate position for the Master's re-conditioning whipping.

Smiling at his girl's understanding and obedience, the Master systematically applied stinging strokes, raising first a lovely blush to the girl's derriere, making her ready to receive a few well chosen hard strokes, creating three or four well-spaced raised welts that would be a stinging reminder of him and her place for some days to come. At the first flinch and sign of a tear in the girl's eye, the Master stopped, replaced his belt and said, "You may go mine. That was just to remind you that you are owned and how you are owned. You have done no wrong. You please me greatly and I want you to continue to please me greatly. When I return later, you will show me how well you have learned to please"

And with that the Master pulled the girl to her feet and kissed her deeply and fully. With her submissive state newly aroused, the girl was on fire for the Master in that moment. Instead he spun her around laughing and slapped her on the site of her recent refresher course and shoved her towards the door.

"Later, mine."

And so the girl waits for the site of his returning ship, feeling owned, knowing who her Master is and longing to hear him moan with the pleasure she is going to give him. The cool breeze plays across the heat of her welts reminding her of times when the whipping wasn't just for conditioning but to break her from displeasing habits. That conditioning was now almost perfect as this morning's reminder had caused her slave heat to rise to boiling. There was nothing more important than the Master's pleasure and she yearned for his rod within her with deep throbbing desires that had been unleashed but not yet released.

Feeling unwanted and lonely is a hard test for a girl

2009-10-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

Recently I came to my Master and I just seemed to irritate him and be in the way as his mind was on other things: building, preparing things for roleplay, etc. That's been happening a fair bit recently and I have in the past had a tendency to panic and cling and write desperate missives. All of which just makes him more irritated and exhausted with me. So what to do?

Well I neither want to push it, nor appear to go off in a snit. Not only would either action be pointless, my heart is not in it. Either he wants me or he doesn't and time will tell.

There are a few things I need to work on both for us and for other projects of mine, so my plan is just to focus on stuff I need to get done in both worlds, try to keep in a happy frame of mind and feel like I am giving him one of the biggest gifts that a kajira (who has nothing material) can give a Master--the gift of some space away from his girl.

It's a very hard thing for a loving girl to do.

The Master's voice

2009-10-12T03:35:00.000-07:00

Silence is cold
but my Master's voice rolls over me like warm waves
rumbling rivulets swirl around me in the safe harbour of his sphere
I come to his arms and burrow into the roughness of a homespun cloak
and I am home

A kajira is a jewel

2009-10-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

"You will open like a flower", I was told
under the gentle care of a lover's smiling sun
and his tender tilling of your garden
watering you with his loving
spreading your petals

I don't know when these flowers lived
with their gentle gardeners
I think it must have been in the Paleozoic,
Or was it the Mesozoic?
I know it was Before-me-a-zoic.

These days as the flowers bloom
they get covered fast by the weight of years
layers of civilization's crap in a crushing load
squeezes any hint of tenderness from their buds
humanity's shit heap, crushing any life

The unexpected twists of fate gather up some
And fold them in the pressure-cooker of metamorphosis
Carbon lumps they are fired in the furnace of stress and time
Hard diamonds of potential with the flower locked within

Sometimes a Master finds such a hardened lump
smiles and sees into its heart
Here is the cleft line that will free what is within
Strike too swiftly and all could be lost in dust
But strike just once and the beauty will start to be freed

A diamond without fault lines is useless for gem stones
The Master finds what he wants and carves away the rest
At last the lost and crushed flower blooms warmly in his hand
a jewel he has found and earned.

A Master knows when a kajira is paying attention

2009-10-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

A Master sees his girl busy in the kitchen preparing food for his table and sees that her nipples revealed through her camisk are flaccid and relaxed. His brow furrows. He steps behind the girl and under her camisk, cupping one of her ripe melons in his hand and teasing the nipple to attention.

"Girl, are you thinking of your Master and how you are serving your Master with your work?"

"Yes, Master" the girl stammers.

The Master teases her nipple further and switches to give the other breast the same attention. With his other hand, he explores the girl's heat and the hard pear of her womb jumps in responsiveness.

"Do you need to feel the Master's rod between your legs girl, to remind you that you are owned?"

The girl's face flushes, her eyes hood and she moans, "this one longs to please the Master".

The Master laughs and gives her rump a swift hard slap, "You are serving me, girl by making me dinner. This is your pleasure, is it not, to serve?"

"Yes, Master" the girl says, a little disappointed.

"Then let me see the evidence of your delight in serving. I expect to see your face shining and the evidence of your pleasure in serving in your posture and the way your nipples rise as you think about your service. The evidence of your devotion in little things will make me want to plow your valley and fill you with my pleasure at your service. Understand girl?" and with a smart swot to her backside the Master sends the slave back to the hearth.

The female submissive responds instinctively to the presence of her Master with erect nipples. It is something that is hard to suppress or to falsify. Therefore the wise Master keeps his girls' breasts bared as much as possible or takes care to dress them in fabric that reveals the perky state of his slaves' buds. While attention may ebb and flow with concentration to work, a Master needs to attend to a girl who shows little responsiveness in his presence. Her submission and responsiveness is lagging and she needs to be brought to the edge again by whatever means his knowledge of her, skills and preferences as a Master dictates.

The Master Returns

2009-09-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

The dark ship grows larger on the horizon until the flag is unmistakable.... the Master is returning! Kate scurries the the kitchen to fetch some cool fruit, cheese and wine on a platter and scurries to the dock, clutching up a fragrant blossom on her way.

She moves to the dock with the platter balanced on her head, the best way to steady her burden over uneven ground. Her body is tanned and mostly bare, her breasts swinging naked and free and but a sheer swath of silk around her hips. She is kajira and will go to her Master clothed in the way that pleases the sight of a true man and not with the frippery that pleases the sight of women in their competition with each other. She has to only please one set of eyes.

As she arrives at the docks, boys are already unloading crates of goods, bolts of silks. She backs out of the way and kneels gracefully with the tray of goods poised on her head, ready for the Master's delectation. Her back arched, her breasts raised naked and inviting, there is much more that awaits the Master's delectation. From the ship she hears the sound of her Master calling orders and one time a hearty laugh that lifts her spirits with the sound of its sunshine, and the resonant commanding tone of his voice works the magic on her that it has always done. She trembles slightly with her desire for his touch, with the evoking of the submissive response that he has so carefully conditioned in her through months of training... until now she is a fully trained graceful and obedient love slave, responsive to his every breath, gesture and mood.

The last cargo to be unloaded is a small brace of naked girls, newly captured by the look of their muddy state and graceless posture as they are tugged along to the holding cells under the palace. Kate barely notices them as they are beneath notice as untrained almost valueless property. By contrast kate has value through the training her Master has invested in her, teaching her to respond immediately and intuitively. She is a jewel beyond price, shaped and honed to her Master's desire but with the beating heart of a woman within and the flaming passion of imprisoned desires and even fury visible within the beautiful shaping and control of her Master's will. Each sparkling facet of her nature has been carefully polished by his craft and knowledge of the nature of women and this one in particular. It is so easy to shatter the jewel along its fault lines so that it falls into dust and blows away in the wind as though it had never existed. Yet a jewel without faults yeilds no entry for the carving, no surprises and no sparkle.

At last her Master steps forward to walk down onto the island, his Homestone awaiting. The sun warms kate's body and a single bead of perspiration traces it's way sinuously down her tanned nearly naked form. She wills her arms not to tremble as she holds her offering of cooling fruit and water aloft, bowed head waiting to be noticed.

It is then that she notices a leash in her Master's hand and the tinkle of of slave bells as a silk-clothed pretty follows her Master from the ship and sinks into a sultry nadu at his heels. Stabbed through the heart at the site of the girl, kate momentarily looses her composure. Her love of her Master causes her pangs of grief and worry that this one may have taken her place in his heart and that she may be sent away. The momentary thoughts cause her to delay in seeing her Master's hand signal to her to come. One of her accomplishments as a slave is that she instantly responds to the mereist signal from her Master... a look to his glass, a pointed finger to his boots, or a gesture that he wishes her to pleasure him with her mouth has brought instant and exquisite obedience for sometime. So he notes her hesitation with annoyance, "Have you forgotten your training, kate? Come quickly!!"

kate hurries to her Master's boots, chastened by the stern tone in his voice. That tone when she hears it reminds her physically of the times that she has heard that voice tone while learning under the Master's lash... and it reminds her of the times that exhausted and punished to near the level of breaking her Master has taken her in passion teaching her that submission is exquisite joy while rebellion is painful. So now at his words she hurries forward as though lashed and her cleft becomes moist and soft in feminine submission aching with anticipation of the Master's rod, ready to serve his pleasure as she has been well-conditioned to do over the past year.

Bringing the tray forward, the Master grunts as he selects some fruit and washes it down with cool water. He tosses some fruit to the girl on his leash and signals her to take the tray from kate. By this time the boys are returning from their unpacking back to the ship. Meeting the Master before he has gone but a few steps, the Master bids them, "Boys take this girl also to the kennels. Secure her separately. It seems she is in need of some re-training." Stepping back towards kate, the Master pulls her to her feet, tears the clothing off her and with one boot, sends her in the direction of the boys. Naked she follows, head down. One boy thinks to rope her but the other shakes his head at him. They recognize that a trained love slave will not need a rope to follow her Master's bidding.

Heartsick and alone the girl sits in the cell with tear stained cheeks. She can hear the sounds of laughter and music in the castle above and knows that the girl in green silks with red hair is even now pleasing her Master with her dance.

Much later she hears the sound of the Master opening the lock of her cell. She recognizes the hunger of the male in the throes of sexual need and waits to be ordered to please him. Before she can think, he lifts her on top of a horse made for discipline, parts her legs and with one thrust enters her to the hilt, pounding her with urgent need and desire. Asking her who owns her, she screams "You do Master, this one is yours" over and over at his urging. It is his pleasure to hear this from the girl that is owned.

Spent he draws her to her laughing, "Oh I have missed my girl, kate".

She answers, "I have missed my Master daily"

"Do you know why you are here?" the Master asks

"No, Master. The girl was slow to see you summon her with the tray. The girl knows that you have many pretties to choose from always. I am always the Master's to do with as he chooses, even...." and the tears flowed... "even to sell this one and send her away."

"Nay, kate. You are the jewel in my crown. The perfect sheath for my sword. I would not send you from me. But know that the love slave must exist in the deepest slavery of all and for the training of other girls, they must know that my self-Mastery is in tact. Even you could not love me as you do if you saw that you could control me by the love I have for you. I could not keep you if I were not your Master and so dear girl you must suffer more for the love that you hold and the love that I give you."

"Master, I do love you. This girl understands. May this one ask a question?"

The Master nodded his assent and his sat down beside the girl stroking her hair from her face and smiling his pleasure at her loving regard.

"Will the girl in green be staying on your chain, Master?"

"We shall see. For a time perhaps. She is the only one of the lot that I am carrying on the ship that might bring a good price if trained. The others will go for pot and kettle girls or paga sluts. I think I will send her into the cell near you for a few days. I plan to keep you here handy for my pleasure and let the other girls do what work is needed. The red-haired one can observe how you please and the words and gestures of your obedience. I would that you help me train her. "

With some small time spent in this converse, the Master seemed in need of some more of kate's expert attentions. Knowing that she was loved but also knowing that she needed to prove her skills, her obedience, her pleasing nature she focused on the fiery yearning centre within her, flaming up to meet the fire in her Master's eyes. Sinuously moving towards him on all fours like a graceful jungle cat her ears perked for his words, her nose sniffing the warm musk of his maleness and her active intelligence reading his face and body for every small hint of his desires. Her body was tuned to be responsive to his every whim. A smile spread across the Masters face as he regarded the body of his submissive slave crawling toward him, her round bottom raised for his plowing, her eyes veiled with love and desire for him. He sighed with pride at the majesty of this submissive animal, this perfect female of his creation. It had taken some work with the lash and some struggle but now he possessed a slave other men might envy and he would feel worth fighting for to ensure she stayed in his collar and for his pleasure alone.

A stubborn kajira is whipped

2009-07-03T19:38:00.000-07:00

Someone who identified himself as a new and still learning Master emailed me and asked me to write more about whipping. I am obliging because frankly sometimes I wonder who is really reading. Many clicks, few comments.

Because of a conversation I had last night with a FW (wanting a collar badly :-)) and other indicators I had begun to think that my most devoted audience were women wanting my Master's steel and other women in my Master's universe whom he sent here to read "to understand him and Gor" (which I translate as meaning that he hopes they will get horney enough to beg his steel in future). What Master doesn't like options?

Hence it was good to hear from a male for a change! So this is an imagined, "Whipping scenario"

The girl cowers sobbing in the cell to which she has been sent. Has she done it this time? Has she been so disobedient and lazy, so displeasing that the Master will sell her, or even kill her? She does not know but she is very frightened. She shakes with animal terror and clutches her knees to her chest. Her eyes are streaked with tears, a red mark on one cheek where her Master slapped her hard before dragging her and locking her in the kennel. She starts as she hears the door leading down to the kennel opening and tries to burrow into the stone wall beside her in her desperation to flee the Master's punishment. The events of the past day fill her mind like flashes of vision and she cannot understand how she could have made so many mistakes, been so disobedient and then... on top of it to sauce her Master back, make ridiculous excuses, instead of apologizing and taking what punishment might come.

The Master's steps echo on the steps ... and the girl lives the moment in slow motion as her heart pounds many times for each footstep of her Master's approach. The door creaks open and clangs shut with an resonant tone bouncing off the stone walls of the several empty cells in the kennel. They are alone.

The Master stands in the cell motionless and fixes his gaze on the girl, "To my boots girl and be quick about it this time". The girl runs silently and assumes the obeisance of greeting at the Master's feet. "May this girl speak, Master?"... she stammers

"No you may NOT"... "you have said far too much girl and you will say nothing unless I order it until further notice. If you do not, you will be gagged. I do not want to gag you now because there are things that I hope to hear from you tonight"

"Yes, Master"

The Master quickly cuffs the girl sprawling... "what did I say?"

The girl starts to open her mouth... eyes widen... and she nods her head in silence knowing she spoke after being bid to silence.

"Stand girl"

The girl immediately struggles to her feet brushing back her hair from her tear streaked face. She looks furtively at the Master's eyes but can read nothing in his face which seems to be merely lost in businesslike thought.

"Well let me look at you" the Master says and with one hand undoes the gorean knot fastening the girl's camisk--the scant covering permitted most Gorean slaves unless dancing or serving at high tables. The garment falls to the girls feet leaving her totally naked in the night air. Every fibre of the girl's being wants to pick the cloth up to cover herself. Her arms want to cross in front of the breasts that are exposed with their nipples erect in the cold in front of the Master's cold assessing eyes. And assessing is what he begins to do in earnest. Tilting the girls head up he looks in her eyes, one finger caressing the line of her face. He cups her two breasts, weighing them like ripe melons and placing his face in the cleft of her breasts, he breathes the scent of her slave flesh in with sensual pleasure, exhaling an "ahhhhh" of delight tinged with regret. His exploration continues as he traces the lines of her body and reaches behind her to knead the globes of the proud bottom that used to bob along in tight jeans, inviting the leers of men but untouchably safe from their natural lust that she was inviting. Now her flesh was owned and not her own, naked to the man who bought her. A man whom she had barely come to know, who infuriated her, frightened her and yet also aroused passions she had never felt before. Passions she had been trying hard to deny and fight.

"It is a shame to mar such lovely flesh as yours with the whip" the Master sighed. The girl started to speak, but one finger of the Master's brought her up short to silence. The Master nodded as he saw her obedience, "Ah mine, that is a good sign, you are not stupid then, you CAN learn. Perhaps you are not totally untrainable as I feared. Nod your head if you wish to be trained rather than killed on the spot tonight."

The girl nodded her head vigourously. The Master smiled at her, not unkindly and with some amusement. The girl began to have a faint hope that she might not be punished afterall. A short lived hope as the Master took his coiled slave whip off the hook of his belt. "Ten lashes I shall give you tonight but I shall aim them well to not spoil you. A few dimples on a girl's ass is a pleasing site as it bounces along on her Master's duties or riding his cock, and a few stripes on a girl's back can increase her price as it is apparent she has not been spoiled." The Master walked around to the back of the girl and looked assessing where best to land his whip.

"Come here girl and give the whip your tenderest of kisses. Tell me, and you may speak now, do you know why you are going to kiss the whip with true love?"

The girl's face was troubled. Was this some test like the slave paces she was supposed to have memorized but did not know. She thought to make something up, guess, thought better of it and decided it was safer to be honest, "No Master" she shudders.

The Master laughed. "Well first and foremost, girl, it is your Master's and you will in time learn to look upon everything that is your Master's property with devotion, as is the proper attitude of the well-trained girl. But tonight there is a special reason for you to love this whip. It is your teacher and your salvation if you learn well enough under the tutelage of the whip. Now come and give your loving teacher the kiss of a devoted slave".

The Master held out the coiled whip at thigh level and the girl knelt humble, wide-eyed and frightened. The only thought in her head was "this can't be happening. He is going to whip me like an animal, like a slave, like the slave that I am". The iron collar felt hot like new-forged metal around her throat, and she found herself almost without volition, kissing the whip, looking up at her Master's eyes and seeing his pleasure in her actions, reading his eyes that she should kiss the whip longer and deeper, and then the merest blink of an eye that she should stop. He then gave her the hand signal to assume the position of the "Slaver's kiss", a variant of the obeisance gesture that a girl meets on greeting the Master (and in some households assumes whenever she enters a room with any free). In the normal obeisance gesture the girl kneels and bows her head to the floor, arms ahead palms down. The Slaver's kiss posture has the arms extended crossed for binding, the buttocks raised, exposing back, buttocks and thighs to the lash and the knees spread apart wide so that the girl may be also sexually examined, used and tested in this position.

As the girl assumes the position, she remembers to sweep her hair from her back, exposing her back fully to her Master's whip and covering her face so she is but dimly able to see her Master's boots as he bends to bind her wrists and ankles to slave rings secured to the floor.

In this position the Master first takes the whip and tenderly strokes the girl's body with it allowing her to feel the coiled leather and then the weight of it as it snakes limply across the exposed tender female flesh of her back and buttocks. As the Master kisses her body with his whip, he strokes her soothingly. Oddly, secured in this position and feeling her helplessness under the Master's whip, the girl begins to feel moisture between her legs and is aware of the Master's cock nearby. "Girl, it gives me no pleasure to have to use a whip on you, but this is how you, yourself have shown you, you must be trained. It is so with some girls who are strong as you are strong. I like your strength and your fire, but I will have that strength subject to my will or not have you at all. Some girls are Mastered the first time they feel their Master within them. They come to know the truth of what they are and they become his devoted slave with little fight. Others need only the threat of the lash to keep them in line. But other's like yourself doubt in their hearts that any man will truly Master them by force until they feel it for themselves. I hope that you may learn quickly for your sake, the condition of my property and because I would rather have you bucking obediently on my cock than in punishment under my lash. I remind you that you are commanded to silence unless I ask you to speak and that when I branded you was the only time that screams were permitted you. There is a reason for this. Screaming is not thoughtful. You will bear the lash in silence, listen, think and remember the teaching tonight. Each stroke you will bear as a reminder of a lesson learned."

The Master then examined her heat, pleased at the damp softness he found in the girl. She was having a submissive response. The receptivity of her cleft underscored her readiness to be taught her place. He tested the whip in the air as the girls buttocks twitched and she squirmed furiously (and deliciously) in her bonds. "Girl you will remember by these two kisses of my whip to hurry when you are called" and with an expert wrist flick the Master two times landed the final crack of the end of his whip smartly in the middle of one after the other globes of the girl's bottom creating two rose buds at the centre which began to quickly bloom with pink petals surrounding the red core where the whip had bitten deeply enough to dimple her ass for sometime to come, perhaps for life.

Until that moment the girl had thought that maybe this wouldn't happen, maybe it was a bad dream, but now her pert saucey bottom was flaming with pain and it was only two of ten promised lashes. She desperately wanted to beg for mercy but she knew it was too late.

"Girl tell me now, when you are called will you come quickly? Shout out your answer to me"

"Yes Master..... " and she heard then the sound of the whip being dragged along the ground preparatory to a lash, "the girl"...... and the lash came down full across her buttocks for a third lash... "will remember".... drag, snap, and thwack a fourth lash lower on the buttocks... stiffled sobs "to come IMMEDIATELY when called".

The Master bent and patted her well-striped bottom fondly and possessively. "I believe you will, Mine. Your voice has the ring of honesty to it".

The girl could then sense the Master going around to her side, once more he lets the weight of the whip snake over her back and he feels assessing like the experienced animal trainer he is the condition of her heat. She is responsive. The girl is in a confusion of emotions, she had never thought to be bound and helpless under a man's whip and yet she senses no anger or sadism in him. She knows that for him, this is simply how things are. Men are Masters and women must be pleasing to them... and she has not always been pleasing. How she longs for another chance now. She wonders if she will have that chance. As the Master probes the heat of his girl with practiced hand, her back arches instinctively as a she animal in heat arches to allow penetration by the male. "Good girl" the Master exclaims "this is how you respond to your Master" and standing up, he brings the weight of the whip down on her arched back, "with this lash remember to bow and arch your back under your Master's touch". Tell me girl, "how do you respond to your Master?" the whip was readied and poised to crack on the girls back with her answer to stamp it indelibly on her mind seared with the pain, "bend to his will and whim Master. I bow to his pleasure" the girl said as the second stripe bit into the flesh of her previously unbowed and unwilling back.

With that lash the girl internalized the message she was saying and arched her back more into the position of the submissive. The Master was pleased to see the vent of her opening convulsing in the spasms of the female in heat and knew it was time to associate the painful lessons with the pleasure that would be hers as his owned girl. Grabbing a handful of her lush dark hair, he arched her back further, "Girl what are you?" "Kajira, Master, a beast" "Who owns you?" "You do Master?" "And what may I do to you?" "Anything you wish Master"
"Yes girl, know this now in the heart of you" and with those words the Master drove his engorged member deep in her cleft, holding her striped reddened buttocks in his hands and driving her furiously. She had never been taken like this before and in her mind she tried to hide from the powerful sensations that were overtaking her. There was no escape, she was a female animal being mounted by a stronger male animal that had subdued her to his Mastery. Her body was responding whatever her mind might make of it. "Submit to me girl. I would have all of you or none of you. Yield." And with those words the Master whipped her two cracks on her flanks as he rode her and like a high-spirited race-horse the crop set her to the gallop with her Master firmly in the saddle. She had never been ridden like this before and she worked as though to buck the Master off but he controlled her expertly one firm hand on the reins of her hair, the occasion sharp tweak of a nipple, like the taste of a bit to a mount, and her new awareness of the whip that lay on her back. She felt him hammering at the door of her womb like she felt this man stripping away her last resistence to his Mastery. She was tremblingly helpless beneath him with her slave heart exposed now and yearning to release around his firmness. Just as she was to explode with pleasure.... he suddenly withdrew from her laughing...."this is not for you yet. But soon you will have opportunity to pleasure me, if you learn your lessons well". It was then that the girl remembered that there were two lashes left. Just as she had that thought, the whip snaked out and flicked her hard between her legs. "Attend to your Master's pleasure girl. Think about it, long to please him, and pleasure shall be yours. Displease him, and what shall happen?"... The girl answer, "Displease my Master and I shall be punished, or.... killed" "Good answer, and I know you shall remember who owns you now" as the Master once more expertly aimed the whip stinging into the folds of the girls heat, replacing her pleasure of a few minutes ago with a stinging pain. And it was with pain and pleasure that the girl felt the Master enter her again to finish what he had begun. As he urged her to a sobbing climax the mingled pain of her whipped pussy and the pleasure of her spasms around his spurting penis worked to start to bring about the changes in the girl that the Master had hoped for. She was still wild, only part tamed, but she was learning and responsive. It would not be necessary to break her entirely to gentle her to his will. A little wildness was pleasurable in a girl.

The Master untied the girl now and taking a basin and clean rags, he bathed her welts. After drying her, he took a soothing potion and rubbed it well and deeply into the inflamed flesh. The girl sighed under his cooling healing hands and as he rubbed the poultice between her legs, the Master laughed to see her respond to his rubbing as a kajira should. He hugged her then and said, "That's done with now girl. You are my own good girl. Wear your stripes proudly among the other girls as a badge of your high spirits. Your Master had to take a strong hand to you to bend you to his will and pleasure. Will I have to do so again?".... silence and unsureness from the girl... laughter from the Master... "You may speak girl, I forgot I ordered you to silence. That order is ended now"... "So will I have to take a whip to you again because of willful disobedience?" And the Master looked long and probingly into her deep eyes until she could hide her soul from him no longer. She melted under his gaze and his arms. "No Master, this girl will not disobey you again"... her cheeks flushed with embarassment at her past conduct and she looked with new shyness and wonder at him. There was much she didn't understand about her feelings but she knew that she was looking at her Master. As he drew her into a deep, thirsty kiss, the whip fell to the floor, unneeded.... at least for a time.

Why I love my Master

2009-07-01T07:15:00.000-07:00

Because I fit him somehow, and where I don't fit he stretches me and the stretching is growthful, sexy and sometimes fun
Because I feel safe wrapped in his big arms
Because I love the scent of him
Because his beard tickles.... everywhere it wanders
Because anytime I think of being lazy or less than I can be as a woman I feel his firm hand on my backside, swotting the silly and lazy thoughts out of me
Because being owned is freedom to truly love as a woman
Because he doesn't let me get away with anything and sees through my crap
Because he is smarter and wiser than he knows
Because he is a man with depth and complexity and many interests
Because he has achieved so much self-Mastery and grows daily and his growth as a Master makes me strive more as his girl
Because he continues to see the best in me and expect better from me yet--he is demanding
Because he did not allow me to walk into Gor ill-prepared but insisted that I read and that I know the fundamentals
Because I know that he is desired by many and I fully expect he will take his pleasure where he wills and yet ... I feel secure in his collar as long as I continue to serve as he bids
Because the sight of him, the sound of his name, his footstep as he approaches makes my knees bend to a kneel
Because the sound of his voice and the scent of him parts those knees in nadu
Because pleasing him in the smallest way fulfils me, a "good girl" is enough to bring orgasm

Because I can't imagine ever running out of new reasons to love him, and lastly because I am owned, I am kajira and I am Mastered and so there is no choice.

The Point of Tears

2009-07-01T01:46:00.000-07:00

There is a point on my Master's island that is called "The Point of Tears" and it has a special significance and a deep allegorical meaning that is connected the the deliberate double entendre of "the point of tears".

If the island is the sphere in which our M/s relationship exists, it is a realm of beauty, play, grace, and also a place in which we greet friends as ourselves, in our roles as Master and slave. When there is struggle, there is not very far to run on an island and there is not that far for a Master to send a girl away from him.

The Point of Tears is an isolated point of the island with nothing but a post and rings to chain a girl who thinks to run, or whom the Master has found displeasing and who needs some time away from him to see how that feels.

Although it sounds like a scary, sad place... and it is... it holds good memories for me.

Once, long ago now, I thought to run from my Master because I had come to.... the point of tears. My heart was breaking because I thought he loved someone else more than me, breaking because I didn't think I was strong enough to share his love without worrying everyday, all the time that I would lose his love entirely. I thought I would disappoint him. I thought I would crack. I simply could not take the hurt anymore. So I ran, and ran, and ran.

My Master found me hiding from him and he was very displeased as I was his and he had not sent me away. I had no right to run from him. And I wanted him to gather me up and take him in his arms and tell me all would be well. He did for a minute. Then his face darkened and he led me to the Point of Tears, stripped me and chained me to the post through a night.

In the distance I heard my Master begin to sob because he was lonely for his girl and could not have her because she had run from him. For some time I struggled on the post and tried to yell out to my Master all my reasons and justifications for running, why it was best I go really. He would not hear me.

I ran out of words. I only wanted to be in his warmth and hold his head on my breast again. We couldn't solve anything on remote ends of the island. I wanted to be let off the post and threatened to poof, leave Second Life. My Master said that was my choice but if I was on his island I would always return to that post, nowhere else, until he let me down.

That's when I realized the post was my anchor point. My Master would never let me flee him further than the post. I would stay there until I realized I was his and that he would be the one to decide when he no longer needed the girl. I didn't have to worry about it anymore, just be as pleasing to him as I could, and pleasing him is not work but my joy.

As soon as my tide of thought turned with the morning, the Master explained that worries and fears were the time to flee to him, not to meet them in the loneliness of places like the Point of Tears. I had learned my lesson well and the Master gathered me into his arms.

Now I like to go and stand by the post sometimes and think about the tenderness with which my Master reclaimed me from the post, dried my tears and gathered his wayward, frightened girl back into his arms.

The place of discipline

2009-06-24T10:54:00.000-07:00

My Master has been rebuilding his home and in so doing he felt the time had come to think about the basement area that has served assorted needs, among them a place to send the girl when she was disciplined. The new design of the space will be partitioned rather than one open space that previously existed. In talking about the design, we spoke about the impact of spaces on the psychology of the slave.

In considering this I realized that space and atmosphere (dank cavern, cage, post in the village square) made little difference to me in affecting my mood when subject to discipline, rather it was the state of mind, the actions, the timing.

Why is it both incredibly scary and incredibly exciting (all at once and mixed together) to have my Master take me to a place where I know I will likely be subject to his discipline?

In exploring this mystery, my mind wandered back to the dysfunctional way men and women sometimes argue with each other. What happens when a woman crosses the line with a man she loves? More than likely he storms away slamming the door after him. She doesn't know if he has left for good. She cries. She feels abandoned. She may feel angry and not listened to. No understanding is achieved. She is unlikely to seek within herself as to how she might have handled things differently. She is too preoccupied with pain, loss, dread, confusion, anger.

Alternatively if her lover snaps, looses control (the opposite of Mastery) and lashes out physically at her, this will simply shock and hurt her. It will be too much violence with no rationale, and she will shut down, confident that she is in the right. He is the villain in the piece. Spousal abuse is NOT Mastery.

In either case, if they make up later, they may have passionate make-up sex clinging to each other, so happy that the argument hasn't destroyed the passion at their heart, but has any real communication happened. Has any power balance that needed to shift happened? No. The pitfall is still there and they will stumble on it again in future.

Arguments arise at the fault lines in relationships. Like faults in the earths plates, lava bubbles to the surface with steam and heat. It is the place where two individuals meet unyielding obstacles in each other and earthquakes ensue. Ultimately, one plate must slide over the other. One must yield.

Our differences create the energy between us, the polarities for the sparks of fun, sensuality, passion. Having none would be boring. Taking that energy to the edge but not beyond is an art, a dance, a dangerous sport. It is not something that can be achieved in the dark, not something that can be done without words to each other.

My Master bids me to be myself and so I will be. I love him very much and sometimes a sudden glimpse of him very instinctively brings me to my knees without as much as thinking, eager to please and serve him. I really want to please. I cherish my time with him and honour what he is to me, my Master.

But sometimes aspects of who I am irritates him and I will try this way and that to get on a different track, to achieve my objective in another way that doesn't get him cross, only to make him angrier yet. I am lost, off the path and need a strong hand to guide me back.

Other times something in me makes me run at the rock that is him with all my force, knowing I am headed for trouble but I can't seem to stop myself not because of lack of control but simply because my ego or emotional needs are on a collision course with my Master's and until that plays out, there will be no peace for me or him.

If reason and talking could sort it out, we'd never have difficulties as we are intelligent and communicative people. But sometimes motivations, needs, fears and irrational worries are deeply buried and control us against our own best interests. These are places where in an equal relationship, long struggles that potentially would poison or end love occur. A partner throws up his or her hands and leaves.

A Master will have none of it.

When I see that my Master will have none of it, something in my heart jumps for joy. At the same time I tremble because I know I am in for a hard lesson and I am not sure what it will be or how hard it will be for me to truly bend to my Master's will in the matter. I know that faking it is not possible. Whatever happens next... in the next few minutes, or over the next several days... I know that he is determined that when he is done with me I will be returned to my knees as his loving slave. He will accept no lessor outcome.

A Master is not going to walk out the door permanently or lose his temper and abuse a slave senselessly. A kajira is a treasure like a beautiful bonsai to be shaped by a combination of love, nurture and firm steel. Instead of childish emotional outbursts, he will use his many skills as a Master and his knowledge of his girl to explore and root out the behaviour that is causing distress. He is going to force me to listen and understand his preferences and in the course of this exploration we will not only learn much about each other but the interplay of the energies and the transfer of power will be deliciously erotic and intense at times.

The collision energies build to a peak and the girl sees from the look in the Master's eyes, a tone of voice, a sudden hand gesture, or a dismissal that he has had enough and that her efforts to curb the behaviour (if she has) have not been enough. It is then that he moves suddenly or as quickly as possible in the circumstances to remove her from her place at his boots. She is bound or chained or caged away from him. And that is the key thing about her condition as a precursor of punishment. She is taken away from him for a time. This breaks the cycle of collision. She has nothing to rail at, no one to protest or cry or query or complain to. There is only silence and the place where she is comfined.

What is the attitude of the angry, hostile woman? Arms crossed over breasts, she will cover the sensitive buds that her male Master knows will bend her to his will. Her stance is sideways, tall, proud, turning her sex away from the Master's cock, fending him off with a hip. This is the natural pose an angry woman adopts.

The slave to be punished is secured in an attitude that the Master assesses will make her feel the most vulnerable and disabuse her of her destructive delusion that she can control him in any way. For me, not being able to see clearly what the Master might do focuses my attention in both a calming and erotic way, like hooding a hawk. Bending me over a bench, head away, my hair cascading over my face, the Master secures my feet apart, my hands stretched forward. It is a position where I might be sexually used, spanked or whipped on back and legs. My breasts hang freely and I can not cover them. My head is lower than my behind, in the position of the submissive pup. It is one of several positions that I might be left to wonder what will happen next.

At this point the Master may have the time and inclination to begin to work with the girl immediately, but he may think it best to think for awhile. The sight of his girl bound and quivering, tugging futilely at her bonds, perhaps still in the heat of her anger making futile curses at him, is an amusing and delightful challenge to the Masterly instinct in him. He loves to see her fire and looks forward to how she will soon buck under him. He smiles at her flashing angry eyes but thinks that they do look slightly more pretty, heavy-lidded and adoringly glancing up at him with her mouth wide open around his cock. Moving over to the bound girl, the Master traces the beautiful curve of her flesh from her shapely neck, down her back, glistening with faint drops of sweat from her anger and fear. He cups the round of her firm bottom and sees the cheeks clench involuntarily in their familiarity with the force of his discipline.

With one hand he explores the condition of her heat, tight, dry, only one finger pries into her. With the other hand he takes the coiled whip from his belt and allows her to feel the coil as he rubs it over her back. As she feels the whip's closeness, the girl trembles and the Master notices her heat moistening, loosening, opening to him. This is the sign of a girl ready and eager for the Master's discipline, becoming receptive and ready to have her wrong attitudes stripped from her and to listen and learn new obedient behaviours. Her pussy relaxes to take as much of the Master's hand he chooses to use to force her chamber while he thumbs and twists her nipples into a state of gratifying attention.

From this starting attitude of readiness and attention the Master will begin, now, or at his leisure to probe the fault line in his girl. He will ask her questions. Wrong answers will be punished. Displays of rebellion will often be dispersed by taking the girl sexually during the session. Sex is both a reward and a reminder that she is owned at these times. He will reveal his own thoughts on the matters. The girl will emerge knowing that the Master's will on these issues cannot be challenged. It will not be a matter of a daily painful choice to "try" to do what pleases him. She simply will be convinced body and soul that this is an issue that is not winnable. Sometimes she may even learn things about why the issue is important to her Master... things she was not ready to listen to any other way that changes her heart and mind through understanding. She need not be broken to obey. In any case, the problem is vanquished.

She is returned to her knees, his loving slave again. She has learned more of him and he of her. There may be other challenges but this one will not plague them again . . . or at least. . . if there is a relapse, the understanding is there to curb it quickly.

There is only so long you can dance or write solo

2009-06-23T07:55:00.000-07:00

My writing output has been sputtering to a halt lately because for me the most important audience member I have for these writings is my own Master and whether because of busyness or because I have become boring and non-spontaneous to him... I seem to be too reflective, or to wish for more planning sometimes... he has been absent.

He is my inspiration and without him, there is nothing to write about.

The other day I asked him how I could please him and he told me just to be myself. On one hand that was such a nice and affirming thing to say and I am sure he meant it as such. We submissives bring personality, a mind, opinions, and talents to the M/s relationship for sure.

But what attracts us to a Master is that we sense that we need and want to be shaped to his pleasure. We don't want to fight the man that has won our hearts and brought us to our knees. We give up freedom to no longer live in suspense about when we have pleased or displeased, how we may serve, what we can strive to do better. We expect to be told clearly.

A Master who is no longer interested in doing that, has released us ... in his heart, by his actions, whether the formalities have been done or not.

My leash dangles from my collar without a tug. I hope to feel his strong hand again. But for the moment I feel sad, lost, rudderless.. and gentle readers... have nothing to write about.

The lessons learned from simmering

2009-06-15T07:41:00.000-07:00

The simmering girl is chained at her Master's boots naked and in heat. He pats her head soothingly, seeing her need, but does not choose to use her that day. She flushes and squirms with her hands imprisoned above her, unable to pleasure herself, her face blushing pink with desire and embarassment at the obviousness of her desire. But her Master reassures her that there is nothing to be ashamed of and that he is very, very pleased to see her slave fires rise and the heat of her desire to serve him. It is simply his choice that she not serve him that way right now. Although it would be pleasant indeed, it is his decision that she learn what it is to feel intense desire and to be deprived of gratification.

Sometimes such training is accompanied by the Master signalling that the girl will be required to pleasure him with her mouth. There is nothing that is more effective in training a a pleasure slave... and more difficult for her... than to demand an expert, loving and thorough blowjob while the slave is in heat. The hot spurts of cum on her face will mix with her tears of disappointment and frustration.

On Earth women have the upper hand in sexual encounters, witholding and granting sexual favours. This works against them training themselves to be as responsive as possible to men and against their own sexual pleasure. Nature does not need women to enjoy sex, only to have sexual urges. The fact is that men become aroused much more readily than women. Women have scant opportunity to develop their capacity to become aroused on cue and are socialized to think that they do not need to develop that ability. Instead they believe that they can choose to have sex only on the few occasions when they become aroused. Therein lies the tension that will destroy many relationships and lead women astray and away from their own enjoyment. It is really a lie that earth women are told by society. In practice, most women find that to keep a relationship they will have to surrender control of when they are fucked, to rebel will drive their male partner away. But because they have this fiction of control in their minds, they respond to their partners with lukewarm, confused acquiscience rather than the passionate response a Gorean Master elicits with his strong hand and his aura of masculine dominance.

My Master is definitely not only the Master of this girl but the Master of himself, therefore he keeps the girl in a constant state of sexual simmering to assure her devotion and obedience.

In the first occasions of such training a kajira will sometimes become quite angry, threaten to run or voice inappropriate thoughts. She may protest that she has a "right" to be pleasured. Such rebellion must be dealt with as all rebellion is dealt with, summarily without much ado. Too severe punishments signal that the Master is insecure. A Master who is in full control will laugh at some rebellious thoughts from his girl, view others as crazy talk that must be silenced and response to others with the minimum and most efficient of corrective actions. A girl threatening to run will be caged or chained. A mouthy girl will be gagged, and so on. At no time does a Master argue with a slave.

A Master demands that his slave not only pleasure him as he wishes, when he wishes but to be fully responsive to his touch. He delights in playing the supple body of his girl as he would a fine instrument. He does not want a piece of dead wood under his hands, a puppet going through the motions but rather a creature of fire and passion, sexual energy singing in her blood under his skilled hands.

The slave learns to recondition her responses to her Master's pleasure rather than her own by being taken without permission but perhaps even more by being denied sexual gratification when she is desperate for it.

As she is forced to remain in a state of arousal without gratification for as long as the Master dictates, she thinks about her need for the Master's hands on her, the pleasure that it is to have his cock within her. The tables are totally turned on her earth expectations and she learns what it is to beg to be released from sexual tension. Only when the girl learns that she has no control over when her Master will choose to take his pleasure with her, does she begin to learn to respond instantly to the occasions when he chooses her as the instrument to serve his desires. It hardly needs to be said that a girl whose thoughts are often turned to how she might be found to be desirable by the Master, how she might arouse his desire and interest, is going to struggle to be obedient and pleasing in all things and struggle not to displease her Master in any detail.

Trust

2009-06-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

It is one of the contradictions of this relationship that the collar is supposed to replace any need for trust. Afterall the girl is owned, the Master doesn't need to trust her. She will do as she is bidden or else.

And yet it is so human to want at least something that is freely given of the heart, and to be able to trust that thing. And it feels so hard to trust without power, when one wears the collar, and perhaps so hard to trust that one who simmers in a collar is truly one who loves and cares and can be relied upon.

I find this quite confusing but long for my Master to know that he can trust me to be honest with him. It breaks my heart when I feel any distrust from him.

Kajira, from a Master's perspective

2009-06-12T14:08:00.000-07:00

I came across an excellent post from a Gorean Master today. I could not agree more with his description of the relationship between Master and slave, and as I read the words I thought that they could have been written by my Master as they were deeply in tune with his thoughts as I understand them.

(excerpted)

"If I were to be asked to describe a kajira in as few words as possible, asked to sum up the whole concept of a Gorean slave in two words, I would say: a treasure. To me, a slave is something to be valued, to be fussed over and adored, as well as to be served by. A kajira is property, is owned by her Master; once she wears his collar, she is his heart body and soul, which is why it is important that both Master and slave be sure of what they want before the collar clicks closed. . . ."

Great piece!

Kajira from a Master's Perspective.

The scent and aura of a well-mastered girl

2009-06-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been noticing that I am getting along with the men in all aspects of my life much better than before and the only thing that I can think of that has changed is that I have been Mastered.

I don't believe my overt behaviour has changed but obviously something has. I have a theory about that. While most men intellectually do not have a problem with the equality of women, they have a strong biological imperative to reproduce. To impregnate as many women as possible they have evolved as stronger and larger and their hormones make them want to dominate women and they have a deep expectation that women will bend to their sexual wills. Women that are sexually dominant or equal, challenge them at a level far below the conscious mind. It unsettles them and they want to "put that woman in her place". I think that they might have to create rationales for their dislike, ascribing negative labels to the woman that may well be unfair. I expect that has happened to me on occasion.

But now I walk in the world knowing that I am totally owned and submissive to a man who is my Master. I am so conditioned as his sub that I cannot think of him without wanting to kneel. I can't think of him without feeling his hands on me and his cock plowing me. I cannot lick my lips without tasting his rod.

There may be subtle changes in my demeanor. If I caught a man looking at my boobs before I would have tended to flash an angry look. Now my response is to be pleased that I am female and I don't find the glance offensive but a bit of a compliment. If I respond at all it will be to blush a little and to adjust my posture to one of more grace. Before if a male boss or superior corrected me, I might flash anger or hostility at him. Now I have a response like a Master spanking me. I take the correction with appropriate shame that it needs to be administered and I am sincere in my apology and wish to do better in future. I affirm the power in the hand that wields various whips in the world.

Don't get me wrong, I have not become a tart or a flirt. Nor am I easy to push around in areas where I have rightly earned respect. My nature has not radically changed. But I believe I now no longer threaten men at a subliminal level. Although our human socialization means that unlike Gor men do not have permission to take any woman that they can Master, I am now one that exudes and communicates the message that I am Mastered. I am tamed. This is pleasing, harmonious and soothing to the nature of most men who are conditioned to be sexually dominant. Feeling the truth of my submissive nature, they no longer see my achievements or leadership in other areas to be threatening to their rightful place within the human pack.

I am female, submissive and know my place in the human pack, following my Master, in his shadow and covered by his strong self.

The biggest online-ism of all? Classes for Masters

2009-06-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

I was chuckling this week at the thought of what would happen in a Gorean city if someone circulated scrolls demanding or strongly suggesting that all male citizens were in need of lessons in how to be a Gorean Master, in particular how to handle their girls. Depending on the circumstance I think that the presumptious one might well find himself summarily tossed in the river to cool his over-heated brain.

But on second thought, if the self-proclaimed expert were anyone with real power, likely he would get the same reception in Gor as such folks do in Second Life Gor. People would listen politely, nod their heads respectfully in all the right places.... and then do as they pleased.

Gor was portrayed as a world of polite people who did not go out of their way to make enemies. But also a world of rugged individualists. Therefore, this kajira takes here lead from her own Master and knows her own Master knows how to be a Master led by the fire within.

Settling down a confused kajira

2009-05-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

As I fussed a lot about my thoughts on what it meant to be punished without just cause, worried about my Master's distrust and felt that there might be a growing rift, I paced back and forth restlessly in my Master's house, trying this way and that to approach him, to restore what was. He grew increasingly irritated as he was trying to simply enjoy a meal in peace.

With a grunt, he thew aside the bone he was knawing on, shoved the table to the side and approached me swiftly. With one hand on my hair, he pushed me into the position of the submissive bitch on all fours, then reached and bent one arm painfully behind me.

He let go of my hair only long enough to unlace himself and pull up my camisk. Before I could think a coherent thought his maleness was deep inside me, painfully penetrating me in the absence of any advance preparation, moisture or heat.

He said little to me as he took me swiftly, but I gentled slowly under the relentless pounding of his cock. He furiously and passionately reminded me that I was his, that he found me desirable, and that he would have me when and how he pleased. He came into me with a yowl of the triumphant animal. Jumping up, he casually booted me over onto my back and collapsed into my arms where I covered him with the kisses and tears of the repented kajira that understands who her Master is.

Sometimes it is just that easy to restore what is true.

Praise from a Master

2009-04-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

"You were perfect!" said the Master, after the girl had been supporting and serving him in a roleplay.

My heart leaped in my chest and I glowed with pride. It was such a very little accomplishment and yet his words meant so much to me.

Why?

I think it is that a Master has no reason to praise dishonestly or manipulatively. His praise is only freely given to a girl who has really deserved it. And praise from my Master is hard won. He is exacting, hard to please and most often finds room for improvement even when noting progress.

In a world filled with so much dishonesty and flattery it is precious to be nourished with a few drops of genuine praise.

I will work all the harder to earn such happiness, and of course it opens me further to accept his shaping of the girl, submit to his will in all things.

I have some sense that he is assessing my readiness for a new challenge, to take me to a new level of obedience. I really want him to stretch me and to start breaking down any walls that displease him. I hope that having proved myself a bit to him recently will convince him that I am ready for him to step up my training again.

Maintaining the attitude of submission

2009-04-05T12:08:00.000-07:00

Recently my Master joked with me that he would spank me but I would only enjoy it so he was not going to. It was a light-hearted moment but it led me to reflect on the fact that there are degrees of discipline that a Master gives a girl and to wonder if all discipline must consist only of a painful lesson to be of value.

This girl thinks not.

Just a few weeks ago the girl started to get into a topic that was forbidden her. A few sentences in and her Master signalled her to silence and to bend over. A very few head-clearing slaps were administered to her bared backside as she stammered her apology and realization that she had been disobedient. With each stroke of the bottom-warming paddle, her Master went over the explicit directions he had given and the general principle that these directions were framed in. It was IC and there were others within earshot of the punishment so it was slightly humiliating and slightly funny at the same time. The suddeness of the act made the the girl gasp and in an act that only took a few seconds her submission was renewed. And yes it was also arousing, but why?

There is nothing lonelier or more destructive than a woman imprisoned by her sense of pride. So often I have gotten myself locked into a position that I have taken on something, some extreme statement, ultimatum or rule. Later, it often seems silly but I have no way to back down. I have made a cage for myself.

Therefore these little displays of dominance from my Master keep me from ever becoming that rigid, prideful and lonely woman. He will always bend me, strip me of my pride and warm me with his will and his maleness. It is very difficult to act like a proud bossy female when my bottom is glowing and my face is blushing from having been given a recent come uppence. Even if it is partly in fun, the lesson is learned, the reminder is given. The girl remembers her place.

On Earth men are afraid to make their displeasure known because they fear that women will retreat into that frigid cage of pride and their words will not be listened to or remembered. When the totally submissive Gorean slave trembles under the Master's whip, the Master knows her attention is totally on him, the words of his displeasure will be listened to and remembered and the attitude of his girl will be.... sooner or later..... humility and willingness to learn to improve. It is a vehicle for honest communication instead of the silence of two tortured solitudes.

Is it any wonder that the relieved, forgiven, freshly whipped kajira is more desperately hungry for her Master than ever?

The Emotions of a Gorean Master

2009-04-03T09:34:00.000-07:00

Gorean Masters are far from unfeeling Stoics. They live life to the fullest taking joy in life, love, food, sex, the thrill of battle, the love of homestone, appreciation for the beauty of nature.

Why is it then that the custom in SL Gor seems to be for Gorean Masters to not show emotion when their most cherished slaves are lost to them, or they fear might be lost? Masters devote a lot of time, thought, emotion and energy into the selection, collaring, and training of a kajira. It therefore seems natural to me that both IC and OOC, they would be distraught if a girl that they valued were to be lost, or another Master challenged them for a girl's ownership.

Gorean Masters weep openly when sad and then pick themselves up and do what needs to be done. This is strength. Weakness is being afraid to express true emotions. A girl should not confuse the fact that her Master weeps in contemplating her loss with an ability to "top from the bottom". He will weep but still do what he wills.

Hearing my Master cry with sadness at something I did was the worst thing in the world to me, and I pity those girls whose Masters do not openly share their emotions. Making my Master sad is worse than any beating or restriction. It is total failure in my job of giving my Master exquisite beauty, absolute obedience and ecstatic pleasure.

Dancing into submission

2009-04-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

I realize that I was dealing with a hot button issue in an earlier post when I suggested that a Master had every right to force an uncooperative kajira to the furs.

For the real person it is hard to find a new level of submission, a new place of submission when one is angry and rebellious, and yet it is the adrenalin and excitement of the M/s relationship that sometimes those real emotions have to be expressed and brought into check.

There are other ways to do this than either forcing furring or punishment

What better way than to command a rebellious, angry kajira to pleasure the Master with a dance?

The girl sits sulking at the Master's feet, steam coming out of her ears about some decision of the Master's that does not suit her. Amused the Master sees his girl in a foul temper and tosses her some dance silks and ankle bells and commands her to the dance sands.

She tosses him a look of fury and thinks to disobey. He makes it clear that she can dance her way back into his good graces or feed the sleen that night. Her delicate mouth opens and closes as she bites back the words of fury and she hurriedly, gracelessly dons the silks.

She steps onto the dance sands and raises her hands above her head in the attitude of a captured slave tied to a slave post. The Master approves her start position and signals her to stay in that attitude while he admires his property. Getting up from his seat he walks around the kajira. Seldom has she felt his eyes so hard upon her, so assessing whether she be worth keeping or not. With the clinical hands of a horse trader he feels the roundness of her ass, the firmness of her bosom, his curled whip brushes her hair back from her shoulders and traces downwards along the line of her body. She feels his judgement and knows she wants his approval... and yet she still feels anger and hurt within her heart.

Tears of anger, humiliation and hurt form in her eyes as she watches the Master return to his chair and clap for the music to begin. She taps one little spoiled foot in the sand looking for the centre of the rhythm of the dance but her mind is elsewhere and so as she begins her dance her movements are automatic, lifeless, her carriage lacking pride and passion. As she completes a turn she sees the Master's eyes upon her like burning coals in the night and feels the heat of his displeasure within her feminine folds. Involuntarily as she meets the Master's eyes, her body assumes the position of the submissive animal, she falls to her knees and in her dance crawls on all four towards him like a she-sleen... and just as dangerous and snarling in her temperament. The Master chuckles softly and approvingly at the spirit of the girl that he owns. Uncurling his whip, he cracks it sharply, an inch away from the girl. Her eyes flame. Her heat rises.

Obedient to the whip, the girl rises into the attitude of the proud Gorean dancer. She may be fed to the sleen that night but she will make the Master miss her if he does. Her hands form delicate waves down her body drawing attention to her pleasing shape and she sets her breasts in motion, shimming under the Master's gaze, the nipples obviously in a state of alertness under the fine fabric. As she whirls in a tent of her silks, one after the other is stripped from her by the Master's clever whip handling and the looseness of the Gorean knots that allow dance silks to be easily removed.

Her outrage as she is stripped is delightfully amusing to the Master but if she falters in her dance step the whip that is cracked on the silks will find flesh instead and so she must keep to the figures of the dance. Her predicament is not lost on the girl. She is her Master's property and so she must please to live. As she accepts this truth she finds a different look in the Master's eyes, willing her to submit to him in all things.

The thing that has angered her is like a burning coal within her, and yet she knows she must accept it, just as her thigh accepted the burning branding iron that singed her Master's initial deep, deep into her flesh with pain and burning.

She takes the burning coal of her Master's will into her soul and lets it set her dance on fire. She dances her fury, her pain and her slavery. She falls to her knees with the weight of the collar and writhes in the sand. The Master looks at his girl with pity and love as she struggles in the dance to find her way back to him. That look is a silken thread to the girl.... a way to journey back. Arching up into the Gorean bow position she demonstrates just how agile she is as she raises herself to her feet. Her hips undulate in figure 8's with a sharp accentuating lift setting her slave bells to a tinkling crescendo. Her eyes never seem to stray from her Master, no matter how she dances. She communicates her fire, her heat, her passion and her love. His eyes ask a silent question and her lowered lashes and blush give the answer. She has found shame at her rebelliousness and is once more secure in the collar.

Without punishment or disruption the Master has brought his girl once more to heel by forcing her to remember how to be pleasing and to remind her of how much she wants to succeed at pleasing him, how bitter she would find it to fail at the duty of exquisite beauty and absolute obedience.

When my Master is well pleased with a dance, he will sometimes leap into the dance sands to dance with me with abandon as a preliminary to another sort of dance...

When the Master is sad

2009-04-01T07:09:00.000-07:00

It is a rainy day when the Master is sad. Even if the Master says that it is nothing the girl has done and nothing she can do, still she is sad.

In her sadness, she must take care not to be a nuisance, not to press. The Master will tell her if she can serve. At times like this being provocative and sexually teasing may well just annoy the Master. Best to offer quiet service, beauty and loving comfort.

Today I bring a warm footbath with floated petals of flowers and soothing oils. While the Master sits disconsolately I wait for the merest nod and hand gesture to signal me to bend over into boot-jack position, taking one boot at a time between my legs, the Master pushes on my backside to remove his boots, sometimes sending the girl sprawling.

I take his feet one by one lovingly and gently and place them in the foot bath to soak before beginning to bath, massage and attend to each foot tenderly. I think about my love following him in every footfall, so that my service becomes erotically charged with submitting my all to this humble act.

Simply acts of body service for my Master are as sweet to this girl as pleasure in the furs and more comfort to the Master when he is feeling poorly.

My Master is like a rock

2009-03-26T02:49:00.000-07:00

five stone haiku

unseen intruder
yet the annoying pebble
shapes my footsteps

***

over-laiden cart
finds an unexpected rock
to be unsettling

***

at unmarked crossroad
a moss-covered pointed rock
might be a guide-post

***

to till my garden
I throw the hardened clay clumps
at an upright rock

***

the calm, deep river
cleft by obdurant boulder
churns the still waters

***

That "Mastered" moment

2009-03-25T13:15:00.000-07:00

As a slave I never know when it is going to happen, nor how, nor really why.... I only know as surely as the sun will rise that it will!

There will be a moment ... or several... in any interaction with my Master where his mastery of this girl will be felt suddenly and thoroughly through her being as surely as if she were chained to a post and being bosk-whipped.

It is the moment when I feel my own vulnerability and submission. It is often at a moment when I don't know what might happen next.

It might be like this:

The Master looks hard at me and says a reproving word and then smiles.

"What kind of a smile is it?" I wonder. His hard look makes me shiver. In an instant I feel gut-wrenching fear of abandonment and my stomach clenches, I feel that I may have earned a whipping and my tail tucks in with an instinctual motion that tilts the pelvis and tightens the labia as though to repel a rape but actually squeezes the clit causing a spasm of sexual excitement coursing through the girl to reduce her to the state of a trembling leaf. I know that my only hope is to please him ... I need to please him... there is dampness in my heat. My nipples harden under the sheer fabric of my camisk and I look up at him with a look of total female submission to his will.

The triumphant Master looks down at me trembling at his boots... depending on his mood... satisfied to see his affect on me but with purposeful regard to impress his Mastery more upon the girl, approval and amusement to see that I have responded totally to him, or with playfulness and a wish to be pleasured by the girl who is quivering at his boots. And ready to pleasure him I will be ... the intensity is there because he has--once again--found my slave heart and made it skip a beat.

A tone of voice, a gesture, a phrase, a sudden unexpected tug of the leash, a dispassionate instruction, a hand gesture into a position..... who knows what Masterly surprise will trigger the slave's sudden convulsive tug to obedience. But triggered it will be.

Dreamer and dream

2009-03-23T03:46:00.000-07:00

Dreamwalker you prowled like a panther in the land of slumber
Capturing mirrored light of meteor showers in your golden eyes
It was the time of late summer restless stirring in my dreams,
Falling falling through the nightsky and into your dreamscape

You held out your bright globe of captured dreams like a beacon
Catching the essence of my falling star above the ocean of oblivion
You peered with curiousity at the galaxy of soul dust swirling within
Gently you cupped a hand upon the globe and warmed the life within

Lucid dreamer with a captive dream, you shaped me
A dreaming soul birthed to a body of pure light
Constrained by iron and learning the steel of your will
I am your dream and grow into the shape of your imagining

More than one on a chain

2009-03-23T01:27:00.000-07:00

Further thoughts on jealousy, chain sisters, mastery of more than one:

Every individual that is involved in roleplay in the Gor, I believe has to ask themselves why they are there. Are they there to examine the truths of their real selves? Then they want to roleplay in a context that to some extent resonates with their own deep truths and who they are. Or are they are they amused by playing a role in the context of the often inconsistent rules of a manufactured society? In that case they will enjoy trying on many different roles and the more preposterous the situation, the more fun for them.

Knowing why you are here will determine how seriously you take it all and to what extent you are prepared to accept things that run counter to inner truths.

Like others, I am attracted to Gor because some of what Norman writes about the submissive nature of women speaks deeply to my erotic imagination and rings true about the way in which I am attracted to men.... or not. I crave Mastery in order to open fully and sexually to a man. I won't settle for less. In fact I demand it by being a very, very strong woman that will break any man that doesn't keep me on a short leash. In many ways I am an alpha female and I seek the alpha male. I can explore this role in Gor or elsewhere. The relationship comes first, the roleplay is a very distant second for me.

Men understand the deep biological competitiveness that they feel over the possession and dominance of women. Sometimes they fail to see and understand that women -- who can have much fewer off-spring than men--are even more biologically driven to compete. Let's realistically understand that there is a deep biological urge to have the sperm of the strongest and the brightest to father one's own children. This is not an impulse that is conducive to women lovingly and easily sharing a Master's penis. Human children take a long time to grow up. Women want the strong warrior and mighty hunter to only have to protect and feed THEIR children.

BUT you say... Gorean slaves don't have children, and ... further... this is "just" Second Life. True but submission itself is recognized by Norman and broadly in Gorean thought as coming a deep biological need relating to the genetic imperative of women. We know that the excitement of submission, the thrill of Mastering a quivering, responsive female fuels the sexual tension of Gorean roleplay... despite the premise of slave infertility. We enjoy the way the roleplay taps into that sensual energy. I think it is only commonsense to understand that the same roleplay will also trigger the territorial and competitive programming in all of us.

If you are not deeply engaged at an emotional and physical level in experiencing all the joys and pain of the Master/slave relationship then I truly fail to understand the appeal of the roleplay... but certainly if it is just a game to you then sharing a chain will not be hard for you. For the rest of us, it will likely be extremely difficult.

Am I saying that it is impossible to Master more than one? No. I am saying that it won't be easy, and it is a different sort of relationship and challenge than the Mastery of one love-slave. In the books, Norman did not suggest that kajira loved each other as "sisters". Quite the opposite, he acknowledged the bitter rivalry among slaves. Certainly friendships between slaves are possible. Friendships among women everywhere flourish and are deep and nourishing. But just as sexual competition among men threatens friendships, so does it with women.

You say, "But slaves are not allowed jealousy. They are not allowed an ego."..... I fall over laughing in the grass and kicking my little feet in the air. Slaves may not be allowed to EXPRESS jealousy, or hurt, or pain, or suffering, or... any other emotion the Master forbids them to speak of... but slaves are vibrant, complete, loving women in collars with all the emotions of human beings, which is the thing that makes having one on her knees at your boots so very, very delicious.

One time I sent a communication to a woman of my Master's acquaintance--an ooc note regarding an ooc relationship--and my Master was very angry with me. His response was to order me to exist in the bracelets position and to forbid me to speak to any female of his acquaintance without permission. Whether IC responses and restrictions are appropriate for situations that are totally ooc is a subject for another post (I don't think they are) ... and yet I feel the wisdom and appropriateness of my Master's response. Why? There would be only one way for him to have peace under his roof if he were to bring another girl onto his chain. He would have to chain me to keep me from killing her and forbid me to speak to her so that the vitriol I would throw in her direction--out of his earshot-- wouldn't have his new girl in tears by nightfall. And so he would have to begin to enforce his will on me with deep restrictions to counter deep impulses.

It is the Master's decision to have as many kajira on his chain as he wishes and it is the Master's decision as to what roles and duties the girls have and who will be his first girl and to punish that which is displeasing to him. I love my Master dearly and so if he were to bring another onto his chain I would do as he asked me and hide my pain as best I could as a fallible person. But I would be stabbed through the heart inside and seething with hatred for my rival. I would see that the Master didn't care about that and I would... in time probably stop loving him. And I concede that might not matter a whit to a Master.

I read posts all the time, and hear stories from Masters who bemoan the "ooc drama" that happens between the two...or three... or more... girls on their chains. "Why can't everyone just get along?"... and I have to laugh at the naiviety of that statement. It isn't the kajira's job to "get along" with the girls you have on your chain, it is your job as Master... who has created this tense situation to enforce your will on the girls. You have chosen to have a nest of seethingly jealous females fighting over access to your cock. That is the bed you have made, Master... go lie in it. Go and chain those girls, put them in separate cages. Do what you must, but don't expect them to be the solution to your dilemma. Let them know that any who displease you will be killed. You'll get peace and obedience. Love? Well you've made a choice that love is not going to rule you. Don't let it.

And so I think it is a choice for the Master of what sort of Master he is and what kind of work he wants to put into his Mastery. Mastery of one is difficult, but given the submission of the heart of the girl, he will find it always pleasing to bring out the girl's slave nature to love and serve him. To Master more than one is a different challenge and the Master must not expect a bevy of happy, loving girls who will love each other and serve him happily to arise by magic. That is an outcome of a long and difficult task of Mastery. He will be fighting their competitive natures, have to give much thought to both discipline and control through his power to make each girl love him enough to put up with her sisters. He will lose some who will run away or suicide rather than share.

At this point in time, I rather think my Master would lose me--physically and emotionally-- were I to find another on the chain with me, but his Mastery has surprised me before now in taking me places I did not think I could go. I am kajira and know that it is my Master's choice to make. I have no illusions that I have any influence over his decision beyond the power of any slave has.... to please him so very, very, very well with beauty, exquisite obedience and sensual delights, that he would ... at least for a moment regret my loss. He has chosen to collar an alpha female and is not fool enough not to know that any girl he would bring into my reach would be in danger of being clawed to death. He enjoys the ferocity of my love for him and is well-satisfied with having brought a proud alpha female to kneel at his boots. He also knows how deeply I love my collar and his power over me. He is Master and will decide.

Things I am working on--Jealousy

2009-03-22T09:37:00.000-07:00

Time that I talked about some of the hard work and problems I have encountered as a kajira and the work in progress.

My Master sometimes tells me that I become a green-eyed monster. I have little experience of jealousy in my life and so I've had to think about this strange complex of emotions that I feel.

To me jealousy has always seemed to be about selfishness and I do not think of myself as a selfish person. I have lots of experience with being a loving, giving person to family, to organizations to causes.

When I look inside my heart and ask whether I want my Master to be deprived of happiness, to be limited in his friendships or loves, I don't find anywhere that feeling, so what sends me into a panic when another woman comes on the horizon?

Fear of loss. Fear of painful competition and complications. Fear of being found not as good as the other girl and the fear of the devastation to the ego and hurt to the heart of abandonment.

And here is where I get myself into a huge conundrum because I CAN see ways to reduce those fears. All of the ways that I reduce those fears involve retreating into myself, hardening myself to the Master. If I care less about whether he releases me or not, how can I open myself to his Mastery fully? If I "hedge my bets" by flirting with other Masters and assuring myself of an ego-sheltering place to "jump" if I am thrown aside then I am in danger of dishonouring my Master, causing disharmony with his brothers, and making a self-fulfilling prophesy as I divide my loyalties.... all of these strategies that earth women use when their heart is threatened with heartbreak have the side effect of undermining the intense and total ownership that I feel.

I don't have answers yet. I am resisting withdrawing, resisting any defensive strategies and keeping my heart, mind and legs open totally to my Masters will, whim, pleasure and my heart full of love for him.

Yet it is so often breaking when I have these fears. I don't know how other kajira manage it or whether they do? Is this an unobtainable goal, to be fully Mastered, deeply love the Master and yet not fear the loss of him?

The Jewel within the Slave

2009-03-19T13:53:00.000-07:00

One of the most valuable lessons of slavery is learning that one's value is not dependent upon power.

In my real life I went through a period in which because I lost a particular job, I totally lost my sense of self-worth and identity for a time. I felt like a piece of discarded trash as my identity was so wrapped up in the status and power of a leadership role I had in my work.

But a slave has no power, no possessions, almost no ability to make decisions for herself. She is owned, her Master's property, to be used, sold, punished even killed as he wills it.

Yet her Master values her.

The danger in this is that the girl will become so dependent upon her Master's approval that she becomes a clingy bootwarmer. SL Gor seems full of whiney dependent slaves and that clingy dependence does not endear most girls to their Masters.

Most Masters want a bit of a challenge, a girl that they have to wrestle to her knees and who amuses them with displays of wit, intelligence and sauce.

Within each slave there is a beautiful female jewel that starts out dull and uncut. The Master will shape it to his pleasing but it is the girl who polishes and makes it shine for the Master's pleasure. As the girl sees this jewel take shape, her feminine beauty, grace, her ability to pleasure a Master, her unselfish female submission to the wishes of the male, the skills she develops to please her Master.... cooking and serving the food that pleases, keeping his home as he wills, crafting things that he desires her to make, dancing for him, singing or playing music for him.... whatever he bids her do... she knows deep in herself that she is a beautiful slave, she is a jewel beyond price. Her Master MAY value her.... or he may sell her.... or cast her aside. While she might miss him, it does nothing to her sense of her value. The jewel is still inside and she thanks her Master for cutting it in such a beautiful shape. She will treasure the slave jewel within and it will shine out of her eyes, captivating all men with the sexuality of the truly submissive female.

Rise and shine, slave

2009-03-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

Maybe it is in part because I am a morning person but to me there is nothing sweeter than awaking in the furs after a night of well-pleasing my Master in every way he has desired.

The sun creeps in and I immediately am aware of the slack heavy weight of my Master's penis in its state of satisfied repose lying possessively over one of my thighs. I smile and nuzzle closer in to his comfortingly large muscled body and just feel his rod on me and feel very owned, very ruled by this male that has mastered this girl completely and daily schools me more in the ways that will please him.

My pussy is still damp from use and my female lips are reddened and still warmed, slightly stinging with the ferocity with which my Master took me in his need several times over the night. As I stretch myself I notice some delicious aches and pains from the night's exertions....my thighs have knots from straddling him and servicing him as bidden. Deep in my belly the hard apple of my womb has been bounced so thoroughly by his battering ram that the muscles of my tummy have been stretched in submission to his thorough rummaging in my inner chambers. My hands reach down and soothingly knead the soft mound of my belly and as I feel the tenderness there I moan with a mixture of discomfort and yearning to be filled like this again.

As I turn to begin to rise my heavy breasts are reminded of his firm large hands kneading my tits like dough to be shaped into loaves and schooling my moves to his measure with the pressure and guiding on this convenient handhold. The tips of my breasts lightly graze across the furs and with a start I am reminded of his rough calloused thumbs like sandpaper on my nipples. How helpless I am to resist him when he has a tight pincer grip on these two most sensitive buds of control. All day as my breasts bounce inside my camisk the nipples will be grazed and I will be reminded of his squeezes to my nipples and why they were squeezed... how he showed me what pleased him and what did not... how slow... how fast... when... I am learning to be his perfect slave and I will wear his lessons in my body to remember them better.

Rising to bathe and dress I inspect my body and note with a grin and a blush of pleasure and shame that I still wear the marks of a thrashing on my backside. I am ashamed that I did not please totally but I am proud of my Master's strong hand. His willingness to punish me shows his attention to his Mastery and his will that I never forget my place as his slave. He will not allow me to damage it, to ever really displease him. Hmmm.... I select a camisk deliberately that will show off his marks upon me. I will always proudly wear his lash marks as one who is owned totally and completely by a strong and uncompromising Master.

Washing myself, I take care to bind my hair in a tidy tail for the Master to grab as a handy leash. I make myself beautiful for him and hearing him begin to stir I run quickly back to his feet.

I bow in total obeisance beside his couch, totally Mastered, totally submissive, totally fulfilled in my femaleness. I am owned. I am his.

"Greetings, Master! May this one be allowed to serve the Master? How may I serve?'

Can a Master rape a slave?

2009-03-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

My Master and I have spent some time talking and thinking about this issue because it is deeply offensive to him to think about forcing himself sexually on anyone.

BUT... and this is a huge BUT... the Master/slave relationship cannot entertain any of the "safe words" that are the hallmark of BDSM relationships. A slave needs to feel that her submission is complete. The slave cannot "top from the bottom" as happens in BDSM. Therefore I have told my Master that I submit myself totally to his pleasure, his use and his discipline and therefore nothing he does can be construed as rape in my thinking.

If at somepoint the person behind the character becomes consistently very unhappy within her collar, she can beg release and the Master is not one to enjoy an unhappy slave so I expect he would release me.

However while I wear his collar I cannot function as a slave and ever have any idea that I can say "no" to him about anything ever. There are some issues that are stretching my ability to submit and the Master is taking those items slowly as he doesn't want me to breakdown. I will write more about that in another post.

But one area that I am very confident about is that I do not want to ever be able to withold sex because I am angry or sad about something. I think that placing that restriction on Mastery, robs a Master of one of the most effective tools in his repertoire and really makes Mastery harsher. When a girl is being recalcitrant, disobedient or hysterical often times she really needs to be fucked to remind her that she is the Master's slave, she is female and she is owned. But while she is in a bad mood, she is unlikely to be simmering obediently and worshipfully before his cock. Instead she is standing with hands on hips with her proud little bottom waggiling enticingly but rebelliously as she attempts to make some point about what she wants or is angry about.

This is when a Master will admister a rapid head-clearing spanking and a therapeutic dose of his rod to beat down the doors that his girl is throwing up against his Mastery. It is amazing how difficult it is for a woman to stand on her "principles" or "stick to her guns"... when in fact her legs are apart and her Master is firmly enthroned in her pussy, rummaging her with delicious enjoyment.

There is nothing that makes me angrier than having my arguments responded to with my Master's cock up my business end. There is nothing that I can say back to that argument. And as I buck and twist away from him and he stays firmly in the saddle, it is infuriating to see how much he enjoys my little shows of protest, the fight I give him as he pulls me open to use me.

It is the job of a slave to be sexually used and therefore a kajira cannot elect to shirk her job. The reason that nether shielding is denied a slave is so that the Master's access is never impeded and the slave feels deeply in her womb that the Master's cock is king in this chamber.

The Master's calm and matter-of-fact claiming of what is his in these little spats of disobedience go a long way to teaching a girl her place and educating her to the new realities of her situation within the M/s relationship. Each thrust of the Master's cock is harder and harder for the girl to ignore, shut out of her mind. She can hate the feeling of him inside her for a little while, but sooner or later, her body betrays her. She is pinned under the strength and weight of her Master and he is dominating her in the way she has dreamed of being dominated. Her womb bobs up and down jumping within her belly on the end of his battering ram within her stronghold, beating down the doors of any resistence. She cannot deny for long how arousing it is that he does not need her permission to pound her and her enjoyment is entirely optional. She is welcome to be a participant and enjoy the ride if she wishes, or to stay furious if she chooses, but ridden she will be and she will feel the warm rush of his tide of pleasure within her whether she chooses to milk him with her joyous spasms or not.

A girl will often open more fully and submit more deeply after having been taken while she is angry and resistant. The fact that she is unable to resist the Master and has not herself engaged in any erotic imagination, can lead to surprising openness to the new experience and to her Master's stroke and images. Absolved of responsibility for instigation of the sex, she can discover a new level of abandonment to erotic pleasure. He will leave her flushed and speechless as her anger and outrage is turned to an orgasmic explosion as she realizes how fully the Master's cock dominates her femininity and how helpless she is to do anything other than receive the thorough screwing she is being given. Gasping she falls into his arms, legs trembling and all rebellious thoughts evaporated.

This totally happy outcome is quite common in the M/s dynamic... because she is his slave and has submitted. But in some cases, immediate resolution will not be achieved. The girl may go away angry after being used, but she has still been taught the lesson that she will be used how, when and it what way the Master chooses. It is not for her to choose. Given time, she will not try to withold sexual pleasure as a way to manipulate the Master. Instead she will use more honest communication, bringing her thoughts, fears, worries and laying them at her Master's feet openly and asking for his judgement.

In our relationship, we have not used any of the devices that are available in SL that restrain an avatar in a position to be sexually used but I can see why such a device would be effective. Probably just being put in such a device and contemplating the thought of being used while restrained would go a long way to making a girl understand how pointless acts of rebellion are when one is collared.

Sexual witholding is one of the most powerful (and hurtful) tools in the repertoire of earth women as they seek within the mixed up world of male/female relationships on earth to control men who should be their Masters. It must not be a tool that is allowed to a slave.

Training a girl to wait

2009-03-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

My Master used a maddeningly effective training visualization exercise to train me to both stay sexually tuned but to wait on his command.

He brought me to a peak of arousal with his words and then he commanded me to open my legs for him. Parting my petals, he thrust what he described as a large but fragile glass dildo in my pussy. He then put my iron belt on to hold it in place.... and went off to do other stuff humming a little tune. I was to stay in place and describe the feelings, the contour of the dildo inside me. However I could not make the slightest contraction of my pussy or the glass could shatter inside me causing pain and damage.

I felt the smooth curved contour of my Master's toy holding me open, filling me, holding his place like a bookmark. The sensation of penetration made me want to contract desperately but I knew I could not. Over the time that I was left like this (30 to 60 minutes) I went from curiousity, to annoyance, to intense arrousal, and finally to that state of perfect submission and openess. I was open and ready for my Master, but I had learned obedience and control of my feminine muscles.

From that point on, he could ask me to halt and stay in the middle of his sexual use of me and I was able to obey and adopt the mental and sexual attitude of readiness and openess, awaiting his lead always.

Initially I didn't understand what the Master was trying to achieve with this training and maybe it was important that I figure it out by myself. But it certainly led me to a different attitude and dynamic within the cybersex. I had been very much feeling that I had to instigate, contribute all the time. This trained me to receptivity.

Mastering Yourself

2009-03-15T01:55:00.000-07:00

It is often stated that before a Master can master anyone, he must first master himself. I find that most Masters have heard this and will nod their heads at the wisdom contained in that sentiment. However, I don't think all have actually understood why this is so and what it means in practice.

If you want to have a slave who will make you proud, please you and bring you quivering obedience, you indeed need to be Master of your own desires, fears and emotions.

You must be in control of your fears because if you often betray fear losing your slave, you cannot Master her.

You must be in control of your lust because she must be kept in heat and begging your cock in order for you to Master her, and through your masterful control during furring you must be able to--when YOU choose-- give her such prolonged and satisfying pleasure that she will know that she can never replace what you give her.

You must be in control of your heart because if your slave can control you with her tears and fears, you will cease to be the Master and she really will not thank you for that.

You must be in control of your anger because discipline of your slave must be methodical and fitting or you will risk breaking her or losing her.

You must have a plan of what you hope to achieve with your slave today, tomorrow, ultimately, and work to that plan incrementally and relentlessly. Your plan may change over time but it will be a conscious plan that you lay out and master.

And lastly you must be enough a Master of yourself to occasionally show your fears, your heart, your lust, your doubts, that she may know that they exist, and then show her that you are master of all of what you feel. No slave will give her soul and heart to a machine so she must know the man that you have Mastered.

And you thought it was all fun and furring!

Circle of Light, Circle of Iron

2009-03-11T09:57:00.000-07:00

This was an attempt to write a kajira poem in strict Italian sonnet form. Thinks I am more a free verse person

Steps into a circle of bright-lit sand
A silver clad dancer with up- raised hands
Captured doves in cruel iron bands
Bright eyes flashing from her veil of lashes
Shackled foot tapping to cymbal clashes
Shyly she meets the eyes of her Master
He smiles, and her heart beats ever faster
She is the moon that he holds in his hand

Captured in orbit, her course is set
To ever circle his dark planet’s mass
Pulled by his tides and his passions met
She dances her worship at every pass
His brand on her body, her soul in his net
Secured by iron from thought of trespass

Virtually His

2009-03-10T14:00:00.000-07:00

There is a quality to the Second Life experience that is hard to convey to anyone who has not been involved in virtual reality for some time.

When I first came into Second Life, I saw the avatar on screen as a little cartoon figure that I was manipulating around (very awkwardly). With time the movements became second nature, rather like learning to drive a car and when my avatar would fall or bump herself I would cringe. If someone threatened me, came up to me when I was alone at night in my virtual house, I was creeped out. This was the beginning of being "avatarized".

After about a year or more of being in Second Life, I discovered that really while I was inworld in my avatar I was a different person. The friends and experiences that I had been having in Second Life were different than my real life experiences, people reacted to me differently on the basis of how I was presenting myself in Second Life, so really I had a slightly different personality. I was beginning to split into my SL self and RL self.

This is a process that is very familiar to those that successfully make the adjustment to virtual reality.

Virtual reality affords us with opportunities to explore aspects of self that we may not be able to explore in real life or may not yet be ready to explore in real life. It can augment activities that an individual is already pursuing, such as artists and musicians who enjoy bringing their art into virtual reality or be a way of exploring a total fantasy realm by being a dragon or a mermaid.

Just like Middle Earth, Gor is not a real place, but in Second Life, real people are using the recreation of Gorean societies to explore some real themes of male and female sexual roles. Because the line between reality and fantasy is less clear than playing at being a dragon or an elf, questions frequently arise in discussion and between individuals about how real the activity is, how real relationships are.

To some, the whole idea of sex with pixels is silly. But of course sex, love, dominance, submission, all primarily happen in the brain. When two people who are able to be fully present in virtual reality and are skilled communicators roleplay together they can connect in ways as powerful, or even more powerful than in reality. I feel the power of my Master's male principle dominating me. I feel his lust, love and his displeasure with a physical response in my being. When he touches me, I feel the touch. When he commands me to a position my muscles twitch and when he takes me sexually I feel it and respond.

It is important when entering into a relationship in SL as a Gorean roleplayer that you are clear in your own mind as to the extent of the relationship you can/will agree to because a lot of the misery that people go through is because of differences in expectations. If you really hope to meet someone in your area of the globe with whom you might have a lifestyle M/s relationship with, you really should not be wasting your time with someone for whom Gor is only a game that is a fraction of their time and interest in Second Life and no part of their RL plans.

For me the experience of roleplaying as a kajira in Second Life is valuable to me on its own. I don't necessarily need anything else. Why mess up a perfectly good virtual life with messy RL? But particularly to those new to Second Life, this seems an odd concept. One can only say, "give it time"!

There is no right or wrong here, but finding a good match between Master and slave can take time. Sometimes the whole idea of Dominance or submission is so exciting to the person new to the roleplay that they go into some sort of frenzy of need to collar or be collared and they make totally unsuitable choices based on a few sexy flirtatious lines, a forum post, an erotic dance. If there is any argument for the power of virtual reality, it is the evidence of how many Masters make decisions about collaring girls led by their dicks rather than any thought of how things are going to work--in what way the girl's skills, language, time availabilities, age, location, interest in rl relationships--are a match to his own preferences.

Fun within an M/s relationship

2009-03-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

The photo above is of my Master trying out a new swimming HUD. I am surfacing from below and caught him reflected in the waves... Yes he did eventually take his stuff off...sorry girls I didn't take any snaps.

One of the payoffs of the mature, secure M/s relationship is the ability to relax and have fun together sometimes. For the dominant man, it is often a worry to appear undignified, silly, goofy and just play with a girl. He fears losing respect and control. However, when that respect is absolute, his power and Mastery over her is as complete as possible, that fear ceases to exist.

He tells his girl he feels in a playful mood and she claps her hands in delight at the prospect of a light-hearted day. They can play together like innocent children, free of any need to posture in front of each other because all of that pretense has nothing to do with them. He knows he is in control and so does she. And so the play is free, satisfying, and completely fun!

Gagging for it

2009-03-09T19:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes women don't know when shutting up is good for them. That is why they need Masters who can effect a simple attitude adjustment. The Master doesn't need to shout, explain, argue, or get upset. He just gets the gag and waits for her to simmer down. He has little to do but watch his girl go from surprise to anger, to worry, contrition, and finally back to her simmering realization of his Mastery...at which point he can safely uncork her mouth and expect more sweetness.

Do slaves think of position?

2009-03-09T17:15:00.000-07:00

In Laura there was/is a rule that city slaves greet members of the council each day with the full karta/obeisance gesture and it was recommended that all slaves greet their Master each day with this gesture. It is the very gesture of head down tail up that animals give to signal submission. I find I like this habit to remind me of my submission. While the Master might choose to dispense with it in future or on any particular occasion, it is a small gesture that helps maintain what is at the core of what I am to him.

I can tell you also that I feel more ready for punishment and more truly punished when the punishment is received in the submissive position--or I should say that only then does the punishment have a sexual dominance context to me.

The whipping cross or post may be tied in my mind with male slaves through movie imagery or something. Don't know. It is effective punishment, but it is less intimate, less male/female, than being punished bent over a knee or a chair, or bench like a child. It felt entirely correct for my Master to whip my alt severely to break her in... and she may need that again... I'm not sure. To me the whipping post or cross is for breaking slaves, initiating them and for serious crimes. It is not sexual in nature. It is a truly harsh punishment.

At other times the misdeamenours of slaves are like the failings of children, the Master flogs or spanks his girl not to break her spirit, but to reinforce his will, help her remember the lesson, and to keep her butt always remembering who her Master is in a way that will assure that she moves quickly and obediently and.... yes... smiles... also that she bobs smartly on his cock. There is really nothing like the feeling of the Master's balls bouncing on my recently warmed butt to excite me and I would imagine that there is nothing that says "mine" like having his balls slapping against the warm red heat of a bottom he has recently chastised.

I expect to be swatted often and really to never be without the marks of a recent hand slap or welts of a switching. They are proud witnesses of the sternness of the Master. I ame kept on the edge by the occcasional unpredictable outburst of the Master in which I get in trouble for nothing.

Thinking about position again...

I found it disturbing the first few times theMaster asked me to stand in his presence, (apart from dancing or serving him) . There is a reason why slaves are in nadu most of the time. There are times that it makes IC sense for me to be standing but I think it is very important that the Master to signal permission for that and that IC I would share how weird it feels... because it does!! When we were in the woods roleplaying hunting one time when my Master had a roleplay involving Panthers, he had to remind me to stand a couple of times and that was so very in character that muse would forget and sink into nadu naturally. Kneeling in the presence of her Master SHOULD be natural to her... and it is!

Another lesson from the natural world is about how the handling of animals gentles them. One clips the flight feathers of birds and handles them daily to gentle them. One cages a horse and lays hands on it often to gentle it, to teach it that the touch of the Master is unavoidable and proper.

And so it reinforces Mastery in my mind he touches me often. And when I am not in a mood receptive to Mastery, I am very jumpy about touch. Sometimes when we are having an ooc talk and he suddenly emotes something like, "he reaches out and strokes her thigh".... I will literally tense up in RL... because I am not in the submissive frame of mind...BUT... it is therefore important re-inforcement to do so. When I sense that reaction, I realize I have to school myself to be in a receptive and obedient frame of mind and body. If things seem a little off the rails in an ooc chat, nothing works better to get me back in the zone than taking one of my breasts in his hands (my nipples are like the remote controls for my clit), booting my knees further apart (love that gesture), or checking out the state of my heat with his hand. Reminding me that the Master will touch me how he wants, when he wants, reminds me of my place. The more often I feel his hands on me in every way, the more I feel owned. And there are occasions where it does us both good when he asserts his Mastery in this way when others are around. I am not embarassed, instead it is affirming.

My reflex position in RL when sitting across from a man is to cross my legs and shield my breasts in some way... folded arms...briefcase on lap... clipboard, notebook... I hide. So opening my legs in a way that consciously reveals my vagina to my Master and arching my back to display my breasts...having bared breasts or partially bared breasts makes me feel owned. I think I have to do more to talk that up in character to keep myself on the edge... and anything he does to remind me of my position of display, to insist that I must always be in a position of display, will help me maintain myself in a state of being ready to please/serve.

Master says, "good girl, open wide and say 'ahhhh'"

2009-03-09T12:40:00.000-07:00

Enough serious talk!

I'd rather think about giving my Master pleasure and when I think of pleasuring him, one of the first thing that comes to this slave's mind is how I pleasure him on my knees with my mouth.

Nothing says Mastery more clearly than a summons to oral pleasure. The Master is at work, or in conversation. He has no time or interest in the furs, yet he just feels a certain itch that needs attention. Spying his girl handy, he snaps his fingers and gives her a signal that sends her scurrying to his service moistening her lips as she runs immediately to kneel at his feet.

I don't think that there is a more definitive act for the female slave than performing a blowjob and so it needs to be done well. Masters need to spend time insisting it be done well. Its usual posture is with the female on her knees and the male ascendant. So every man getting a blowjob is a Master for that time, and any woman giving a blowjob is acting as slave.

It excites the slave in the female that there is no reason for the male to be unclothed, or even to stop doing what he might be doing, reading, writing, conversing, eating, for him to be sexually serviced by a woman's mouth. Any woman who feels that sex is an equal affair is disabused of this idea after spending some time on her knees servicing the cock of a Master who pays her no more attention than if she were shining his shoes. It is a good attitude adjuster.

I would suggest to any Master burdened with a princess kajira who expects a lot of effort from him in the furs that he demand long and thorough servicing from the girl in this fashion while he remains engrossed in other more important matters.

The male organ is symbolic of male power, so when the woman kneels before the cock, she is kneeling to the man. When she takes the cock into her mouth, she is silenced. It is highly symbolic of the fact that she has no voice that is not ruled by her Master. Finally a woman is not pleasured herself by a blowjob. The space between her legs is neglected and relegated to unimportance. No wonder most Free Women and earth women don't like giving blowjobs. But the thought of giving my Master a blowjob makes this girl very eager to please as she is a natural slave and loves to please her Master.

It is the slave's job to bring the Master to erection, not his job to have an erection. The thought of my Master's cock at rest is always a delight to me in its possibilities or also in its satisfied rest with its slack weight heavy against me in what surely must be the most possessive of gestures of the male over the female.

In meeting the Master's cock at face level I usually playfully nuzzle him first, feeling his cock against my cheek, butting against my nose, sweeping my feathery hair teasingly across him, sniffing in his delicious musk with pleasure, before extending my tongue for the first taste. The smell and taste of the Master's cock is delicious to me and fills me with tender love as well as provoking the subservient response. Instinctively my back arches in expectation of being mounted when I sniff him... but such is not to be this time, so my tail end waggles in frustration, even primal indignant fury, while blowing him. The cute bobbing of my backside amuses the Master. But such is his control that I sublimate my desires and attend to him as commanded. Too much writhing about in attempted self-pleasure will merit a choking tug on my leash.

I would begin to arouse the Master first with gentle flicks of my tongue at the front of his tip, followed by tracing his manly length with my slowly lolling tongue. Depending upon position I would also use my tits, cradling his cock between them and shimmying my tits against his not yet erect cock for his pleasure, teasing him to erection. The only response I expect is the one in front of my nose and in my mouth.

When he is fully erect I show my love and devotion first by giving his member the sweetest and most thorough of kissing along it's length from the hilt to the tip... licking and kissing my way up to the tip to where I would now open my soft mouth to receive him, delicately and reverentially like a sacrament. Indeed nothing that enters a slaves mouth is more sacred to her than her Master's rod. She feels honoured to take his maleness on her humble slave lips.

The Master feels me maddeningly teasing him with my tongue as his rod first slides into my mouth. I am adept at flicking that sensitive spot at the front of and just below his tip, swirling my tongue around the fullness of his tip and extending my long tongue backwards down the length of his shaft and then curling it up. I make a game of trying to distract him from his work or conversation, .... but he is a Master.... and I am but his slave providing a menial body service that he commands and expects from time to time.

The Master typically controls my actions with a hand in my hair, a hand on my collar or a yank of my leash of course. I open my throat to be penetrated by the full length of his cock at his peasure, while stroking and fondling my Master's balls and the hilt of his rod. This penetration is not physically pleasurable, even causing discomfort, what is pleasurable is the sensation of being Mastered, forced to take his length in my mouth.

I have been known to use my mouth in ways that displease my Master. Therefore I spend a lot of time with his cock in my mouth, so I have had a lot of opportunity to reflect on these matters. It is his favorite method to shut me up. There is no sweeter gag for a girl who uses her tongue as a weapon but longs for a man strong enough to silence her. It is a training for such a one. When she thinks of shrewish speech, she will associate words with the denial of words through her Master's hard cock in her mouth. It will remind her of what she can say and can't say in a clearer association than any whip. Her mouth is for the Master's pleasure, so only sweet words can find space there. When I start to say words that my Master has found tiresome.... I taste him in my mouth... and remember who my Master is and what I have been taught.

Periodically the Master will crave more attention from my tongue and release his control of my head to allow me to explore his length at will with tongue flicks and kisses and firm sucking of his knob. I will cradle his balls like the treasures they are, finding that sensitive spot at the root, behind the balls that enhances pleasure when gentlely kneaded during orgasm, I make sure I have a finger well-positioned for that exquisite caress. Meanwhile between my own legs I would feel a passion mounting in vain as my empty, hungry pussy bobs up and down, moist and exposed but unimportant. Drats!! I will be left unsatisfied but I must use my arousal to fuel my devotion only. The wise Master keeps his girl simmering and hungry for him.

Just when I think I can not accommodate more in what is a very small rosebud of a mouth, the Master will grow in width and length signalling to me that he soon will deposit his load. I must be responsive to his desires, to swallow his semen quickly, deftly and without fuss, or to run my tongue along his length on his withdrawal if he choses to spray his slave's face and breasts with his wad. Whatever his choice I will feel his explosion with joy, despite no release for myself, taking care to caress his hilt or his legs and buttocks as permitted to show my love and appreciation for being allowed to serve him in this way. When the Master chooses to release on my face, the girl smiles radiantly and turns her face upwards and moves from side to side that she might wear her Master's showering blessing fully over her face, from forehead to cheeks to chin, all adorned with his precious pearls.

She will then lick the Master's cock clean, dry him delicately with her hair and re-do his lacings for him. She will await his hand signal to wave her away. If she has done well, she may warrant a pat on the head or even a brief smile to acknowledge her existence and that he was pleased. Dismissed she will scamper off with her Master's cum proudly worn like war paint. She will taste him for some time to come and she will long for his rod to pound her in the place of her longing.

Feminism and Female Submission

2009-03-09T07:13:00.000-07:00

Sharing some thoughts that I had on International Women's Day:

My Master and I participate together in a general discussion forum .... where we first met, pre-SL, before either of us heard the word "Gor".

When we first posted about our M/s relationship, a lively, funny, liberal woman on the forum said, "And I campaigned for years for women's rights so you could do THIS?"

To which my answer is a rather loud "Yes".

For me personally it would likely be impossible for me to explore my nature as a submissive if not for the political and economic securities that have been won by feminists (like myself!) over the years. It would also be impossible for me to even begin to discuss my nature if there were not an atmosphere of tolerance that had been forged by progressives.

Despite the tolerance that we have won for various alternative lifestyles, the Master/slave lifestyle remains the victim of prejudice and fear.

Consider the fact that in the public areas of a Second Life community where my Master has his non-Gorean home, Skybeam Estates, kajira are forbidden to kneel according to community rules. Everyone else in the community is free to sit in any fashion they please but anyone with a collar around their neck and asserting a slave relationship is uniquely restricted and forced to maintain a standing or conventional sitting position.... a restriction on our lifestyle practice.

Imagine for one minute if the community placed a restriction on gay men holding hands. Would that not cause a huge public out-cry in the larger Second Life community? So why does restrictions on slaves kneeling not do so? I believe it is because those who wrote and support the ban on kneeling believe that I (and my sisters) will welcome "freedom" from kneeling and that they are doing us some service. They are not.

From the beginning of my collaring, my Master has had some concern that I might be hurt or shocked by the aggressiveness or crudity of some Gorean roleplayers. As of this date, that has never happened to me. But I was shocked one time by the agressiveness and crudity that some non-Goreans showed towards my Master and myself when we were simply shopping together and he had me on the leash (it helps to stay together in crowds). He was mocked in a way that made me cry (in RL) and women who said that they were feminists kicked me, spat at me and called me names.

John Norman, the author of the Gor novels was a psychologist in his professional life and he was convinced that all women are submissive by their genetic make up. I don't know whether he is right or not about this. I suspect he is wrong. Most science shows that sexual attitudes and identity exist along a continuum from homosexual to heterosexual orientation and I suspect that the same is true for dominance and submission.

Like homosexuality, dominance and submission exists in the animal world. Anyone who watches nature films has seen the dance of dominant males, the growling display of dominance, the bite on the neck of the female holding her down for the dominant male to sexually use her.

I only know that my sexual nature is like that. I need the dominant display of the male. I need to be wrestled to my knees and I need to feel the strong hand holding me to his sexual will. Otherwise... I am doomed to frigidity.

We used to think we could re-train homosexuals, that their orientation was an illness. Enlightened people have given up that idea. Is it not time that we gave up the same idea about M/s couples?

We used to fear that homosexuals were all interested in seducing young kids and equated their practices with some horrific abuses in the world. By the same token I have spoken to people who cite criminal activities involving the imprisonment, rape, subjugation and sexual slavery of girls around the world and who equate loving M/s relationships as being in some way similar, or encouraging or condoning these terrible practices. This is just simple prejudice and ignorance.

Let me be clear though that this doesn't mean my submission is playacting or not real. Once I have been Mastered, I submit to the will of the Master. There are no "safewords" to escape punishment or restrictions. And that will be the nature of the relationship as long as it continues to be one that works for him. But that is a choice I make based on my nature. Because I am a submissive woman I both crave to please him and crave to feel his Mastery over me, aroused by the kiss of his whip and even the possibility it will be used if I displease.

It is a choice made possible by political and economic freedoms. I am a feminist, a submissive and my Master's devoted slave.

Running towards the Master and not away

2009-03-08T14:13:00.000-07:00

Most of the time my Master and I enjoy a relationship that is harmonious and joyous. I worship him and desire his male dominance with simmering sexuality and loving tender respectful regard. He returns affection and a protective attitude.

One of the rocky bits we have navigated occurred when the Master asked me to voice an opinion on an important issue. He was considering taking another girl on his chain. I was not emotionally prepared for this challenge (and am not sure I ever will be) and my Master and I had different views of the girl in question. The story doesn't really matter here. It was a painful time.

I was torn. I did not want to share my Master with this girl. But... and this was a HUGE issue for me.... I did not want to top my Master from the bottom by influencing his decision.

He demanded to know my thoughts and feelings so I told him that I would be hurt and miserable and really didn't know if I'd be able to handle it. He then decided not to collar the girl. However things he said and his actions in continuing to interact with the girl OOC made me feel that he was making a decision influenced by me.

I was torn in two. Now I realize that it IS possible for the Master to make a difficult decision that he might not like, without that decision being manipulated by me. He had taken my thoughts into account and decided the time was not right in my training to throw this challenge at me. He could have done so but it would have either broken my spirit or lost him his slave. Another time, another slave, he might not have cared. But he made his choice. He was grumpy about it and he did not need my blathering on about it, yet blather I did.

As my unhappiness grew and really my distrust in his decision, I thought that I had the power to reverse his decision, and that this is what I should do either by stretching my thinking to "allow" him to collar the girl or by running away so he could collar the girl ... the fact that he was grumpy and still seeing the girl convinced me he wanted her a lot.

Looking back I can see how totally screwed up my thinking was on this. The Master had made a decision. If he changed his mind and decided to collar the girl at a later date... he didn't need my change of heart to "allow" him to do it. The fact that he was continuing to see the girl did not indicate he still wanted to collar her necessarily... again all this muddy thinking was predicated on my belief that I had the kind of female power associated with an equal relationship.

I had a decision from my Master.... yet I continued to live in a constant state of worry... would he change his mind tomorrow? Should I act in some way?

Finally a terrible moment came when I visited the new beautiful home that my Master had recently purchased and I found him together with the girl in the same place we had recently shared. I was devastated! I felt, "that's it, he wants her".... and I cut my collar and ran from him for the only time in our relationship.

We both had a full 24 hours of HELL before we could talk to each other about it.

Master was furious with me for not accepting that his decision was his own and trusting that if he was acting in some way that affected me that he'd tell me with honesty and directness as befits a Gorean man of honour.

For my part I had been confused and hurt and still ruled by insecurities and fears.... so I ran away.

When my Master came to understand my heart, he knew I needed to learn something but it wasn't something that he could teach me via simple punishment.

Instead he led me through a powerful roleplay.

Master: The girl knew she was.... Completely, totally and utterly mine.... frowns... and she ran from me

Girl: She was frightened

Master: The place to be when frightened is at his feet. In the circle of his sword

Girl: She is prepared to be punished... and it may be needed

Master: I have been giving thought to this as I was deeply displeased

Girl: Understands. ... and is ready

Master: Frowning deeply his face hardens...

Girl: Would rather bear 20 lashes than a moment of distance from her Master
Girl: yet her female parts contract as she senses that punishment will indeed be administered and it will not be easy or light. She is ready for whatever her Master thinks is necessary to restore balance. Indeed eager ... sort of

Master: Grabs the girl and pulls her up by the hair. "Follow me, girl".

Girl: yes Master

The Master runs quickly across the night landscape of their island home. The girl runs to follow.

Girl: She wonders what he is doing...

The Master stops suddenly by a post at the end of a wave lashed remote rocky point of the island.... grabs the girl's hands and ties her to the post. She cannot see him as he walks away.

Girl : I want you to truly punish me and I want to truly feel it. I need it and you need it

Time passes

Gile: She cries.. awaiting punishment and yet bereft of it... alone and isolated

Girl (OOC): hmmm... well ... interesting... I guess to me this puts me back where I was in the poofing and just writing off SL plan

Time passes... still no response

Girl (OOC): Am I missing something? Why should I not just poof.

Master (OOC) : You will not poof. You may go if Rl makes it so other wise, you will hang on that post until I take you down. If Rl pulls you away, you may go but when you come back, you will return to that post

Time passes.

Girl: I am reflecting and if I can find a wrongness in what I did it is in worrying that your own judgement might not be equal to discerning that (X girl) does not care for you, in fact finds you beneath her... and so she felt assured you would be honoured to take her on your chain... when she vyed for you publicly and was not successful, her anger grew and she was determined to have revenge by triumphing over me.
Girl: And so she threatened me and still pursued you and yet you saw her as friend and injured party

Master: She is not here now and it is my intent to keep it that way. It is far too disruptive having her around so it is my will that she not be. Had I not said so? Did you not heed me?
You are my slave, no one else

Girl: Yet I would you know that she was not worthy or loving of you

Master: I decide who is worthy. I judge. You are within the bubble of my claim, care and love. I will have it no other way

Girl: and it was my own love of you that I could not really tell you that

Master: We could have worked all this out the same day you ran
Master: It is my will that you run to me, not away from me.

Girl: gulps... yes Master... this one runs to hide in a cave and cry... such is her experience

Master: We will change that.. You are MIne now

Girl: Master, this one will willingly serve you and your friend X if such is your will. I trust your judgement.

Master: If you run from the circle of my sword, you hurt us both. I am not concerned with the girl X. This is about us.

Master: A tear runs down his cheek, as he works, he deeply misses his girl

Girl: I am concerned that I worried about the Master's judgement about one I saw as dangerous. She weeps on the post knowing that her only fear was that there was a woman that would use the Master for her own goals and then mock him.

Master: looks about..... there is only you and I here now. I want you in my arms, I want to hold you and stroke your hair, I want to feel your body on mine and I can have none of it
Master: more tears run down his face

Girl: The girl struggles on the post unable to bear the pain of hearing her Master cry. "Master, forgive me.. this girl regrets her transgression" She begs to be schooled by the Master. She is new to his desires and how to please him

Master : thinks she is learning an important lesson at this very moment

Girl: She is jealous and fearful at times. She is willing to be schooled by the Master in this way

Master: I give her no other choice

Girl: Indeed you could have fed me to the sleen

Master: I would have been deeply hurt by the loss
Master: If you did not have value to me, you would not wear my collar now

Girl: When I came into our bright dream and found my bitterest enemy here with you, It stabbed me through my heart

Master: You should have run to me. You are mine and I will do what I can for you. When you run, you leave us both helpless

Girl: I only want you to be well and happy and safe

Master: Through communication, we gain insight and can make changes with the understanding that comes from the knowing of the others mind

Girl:... but I will not relent from saying that girl does not love or like you... she is just trying to win some stupid contest. She threatens me to try to make me back off.

Master: She has lost and is not here... do you not see?

Girl: I never entered into a contest. It was all her imaging

Master: I closed the contest quite some time ago

Girl: Yet I worried for you and for us

Master: She has gained nothing buy what she has done

Girl : Because she saw you as a pawn for her manipulation, and I saw you as my King

Master: We on the other hand shall come out of this stronger, wiser and ever more dedicated to each other
Girl: She was contemptuous of my love for you in one moment, and vying for you in the next
How should I not be angry and upset with her for that?

Master: Who hangs on her Masters post this day? .... and who walks in places unknown?

Girl : Your home, your hand, your body, your will.... is sacred to me

Master: Who have I claimed as My own?

Girl: this girl

Master: Who lives within the circle of my sword?

Girl: this girl

Master: Who is my choosen girl?

Girl: this girl

Girl: Thank you, Master for your wisdom

Master: Come to me

He took me down from the post and into his arms.

Restoring the balance

2009-03-07T21:49:00.000-08:00

Why do I think that women (or at least this one) sometimes needs a strong hand on her? Well disagreements happen, no matter how much she might be trying and how much love exists on both sides. And she is going to fail to please in some way or other. Sometimes it will be hard for her to admit that she is wrong or has made a mistake. I know I sometimes find things unjust and can't accept that it is not my place to judge what is fair. But someone has to be the boss in a relationship and it just causes a lot of trouble if the woman doesn't readily accept her Master's judgement and feels she can question. And sometimes the Master who has let something past with a warning other times, will finally feel that the time has come to curb an undesirable behaviour. If there isn't a stern punishment she may not understand it is important, and clearly the gentle reprimands have not yielded results. Better to make it clear this must stop than mar or end the relationship.

In most male/female relationships issues will go on and on, with each blaming the other, feeling hard done by and hearts hardening. It is all such a waste of energy and time. If a man is angry with his woman, he should be able to express that anger directly in the way that men dominate women. It can be a sudden turning over the knee, or a cold warning to go and wait for him as he intends to punish her so be ready in the appropriate position (however the Master determines is the best way to punish her. -- I actually think that a place and position for punishment help memory of punishment. Just assuming the position brings back all the other times of punishments and a review of the behaviour that has her here naked and displayed for beating-- and waiting. Being sent to a special room where punishment is meted out again causes the girl to review past misbehaviour and to understand where a pattern of misbehaviour needs to be mended. Why am I here again?

Alternatively, for me, being suddenly turned over the knee and spanked in the middle of an argument or after a slip of some sort, brings me up short, shuts me up and restores balance... but it isn't really strong punishment... it is just a reminder... sometimes it can end in laughter by both, although sometimes it can be more than expected by either when it is needed. And a firm hand on a bare bottom says to a woman, "if you behave like a child, I will treat you like a child" and that is humbling in itself and usually results in more mature decorum in future.

While a spanking can be a bit mingled with fun, when it is serious it is something that makes me cold and quiverey... and the waiting is about the worst. While I have very occasionally been whipped or switched, I feel that the sexiest, the most intimate punishment tool, (apart from a bare hand) is the Master's belt. (other devices can seem contrived or distancing.) The sound of the unbuckling and removing is associated with something very different but the woman who needs to be taught a lesson knows it will not be pleasure that is coming. There is a feeling between her legs as she hears the belt removed like a dog tucking in it's tail. She submits to be chastised as she is his slave.

When is enough enough? Punishment ends for one of three reasons. The Master has inflicted enough punishment that he feels done with the anger. With each stroke he has verbally made his displeasure known. The pain is associated with the lesson needing to be learned. Satisfied with his work the Master is ready to forgive and take her into his arms again. He feels the punishment is enough. (But the wise Master does not do this until there are humble apologies, acknowledgement of wrongdoing, acceptance of punishment.) Or, the woman's sincere tears and humble begging of forgiveness touch his heart and the Master chooses to let her off lightly as she seems truly sorry. His heart is touched by her contrition. It is well to give a couple of lashes after the apology as it will sear it into memory for her by taking her just a hair beyond her breaking point. Afterall she has made the Master go to the work of punishing her, an irritating disruption in his day.

The last reason for ending punishment, I think would be the rarest: this is the case where the punishment will be damaging if continued but the Master is still angry, the girl unrepentent, or not repentent enough. Both acknowledge that the matter isn't settled and there will have to be continued work to get the girl to accept that she has been wrong. She will be caged or chained to prevent running or any harm. Her punishment will be continued in another form and she will not know love or comfort until she is ready to seek forgiveness.

But most of the time when all is otherwise well in the relationship, a punishment clears the air quickly and whatever confused feelings in the woman become simplified and focused into pleasing. She is reassured that she cannot win power and that judgements are clear, rules are clear...etc. She may become very aroused as a side effect of the adrenalin rush from pain. The Master is no longer angry, the slave is relieved of guilt/shame because she has been punished and both feel restored as Master/slave. It can be a time of deep bonding. Often the Master's words are a surprise to the girl... only the act of punishment allows him to pour out his sadness and disappointment at her behaviour. She is ashamed of causing him the pain and grateful to learn the specifics of her fault. If the punishment session has been intense, the slave might need some time to bathe and prepare to pleasure her Master though...for the effects to wear off, be integrated. You don't want her still dazed. Let her bathe and come to you later. Take her in your arms and caress the places where you have reminded her that you will not allow her to get the upper hand. Drawing these contrasts between caresses, sexual pleasure and punishment deepens her sense of you as Master. It is quite unlike BDSM which confuses the two, (something I am just understanding.)

What makes a Master?

2009-03-06T13:07:00.000-08:00

There is a debate on the gorean forums right now about whether Gorean men are Masters just by virtue of being men.

By the rules of Gor, a kajira must show respect for all FM as Masters. It has been this girls experience that most who RP as Masters hope to achieve more than the outward respect of women. They truly want to have the impact that has all women in the vicinity a little nervous, a little aroused and feeling the instinctual submissive attitude of bowed head to his boots.

In SL, anyone can be beautiful or handsome so how we make our avatar is more a reflection of what we see as beautiful, what we wish to convey about our character. A Master, to me is strong, masculine, not pretty. When I look at the avatar my Master has chosen, I can feel the weight of his lash and feel the safety within the circle of his sword. He looks solid, the rock upon which I can choose to serve as my anchor in life or to dash myself in little bits if I run at him with defiance.

SL Gor is more about words than anything else. The beauty and grace of a Master's words take away the breath of a girl and causes her to try to match his pace with soaring words of beauty and love to pleasure him. The descriptive bite of a Master's displeasure when articulated will likewise be felt by a girl in a physical sense. It is truly difficult to respond to a Master who writes poorly, or worse yet uses online abbreviations like lol, ic, thanku, etc. This kajira wants to say, "Are you 12 years old????" And again, it is my duty to be correct and respectful no matter what drivel is being typed by a Master... but drivel will not make a kajira hum with desire and respect.

The self-mastery that a Master demonstrates on longer acquaintance is truly the thing that will have girls begging his collar and hoping to never be released. A Master that is slow to anger but not to be dissuaded from doing what he wills and goes about methodically with his plans wins respect from all. Kajiris are very skilled at manipulating weaker Masters from their knees. The self-controlled Master who can smile and enjoy the girl's little efforts at influencing him, and then do as he thinks best makes his girl feel very secure. He may lose a princess kajira, but did he want her?

A Master that takes the training of his girl seriously, demanding the best from her, gives the girl what she most needs from him, the firm hand that will make her develop those things which will pleasure him and unlock more of her inner chambers to his Mastery. This is rewarding for her as it contributes to her security within the bubble of his protection and affection. Training can be assigned readings, practice of skills, attending classes, completing tasks of reflection and writing on areas where growth is needed. Training can also involve rewards, punishment or restrictions as the training progresses and as the girl needs. A Master who is content to only fur with his girl is going to quickly bore her as she is not developing new insights, skills or feeling her submission being deepened by him daily. If the Master is not forcing all her barred doors, rebellion will be growing in her locked places.

A Master is one who has other interests than his kajira. She cannot take a Master seriously who makes her the focus of his life and work. She is a jewel to be polished by him and to adorn his home and boots. She shines for him the more brightly in her pride at his accomplishments as Warrior, Scribe, Merchant or Artisan. Beyond roleplay, a Master who has his strong interests and passions in his work, studies, sports, self-development inspires submission from the woman at his feet. She falls to her knees more swiftly and naturally when the Masters speak of deep things of their knowledge and learning. She finds it hard not to fall backwards in the grass giggling when instead the conversation is superficial and juvenile. The dignity and knowledge of the Master is held in awe by a kajira. His important affairs which are none of her business are a part of why her worship of him comes naturally to her.

The honour of Gorean men is something that is lost on some playing the role of Masters in SL Gor. When I see a Gorean Master act nobly and honourably towards my Master as his comrade, I naturally want to serve that Master and so do all women want to serve men of their word, men of honour.

All of things that bring men the respect of other men, bring submissive women to their knees. Submissive women are not weak women, they are women who have a natural response to the presence of dominance, of male leadership.

Mastering the slave within

2009-03-04T10:12:00.000-08:00

It is one thing to have sexual obedience from a slave's body and another thing to Master her intimate sexual responses. Once she knows she has no choice, she will pretend to be Mastered by you, going through the motions of sexual compliance, but holding back that which should be the Master's, the full enjoyment of her quivering pleasure at his touch...and without that she will not be fully and totally owned...just the shell will be possessed.

An experienced, crafty Master like mine will know when she is faking. And I hasten to add that deep within her she longs for that Mastery, dreams of it, moans for it when the Master is not there but, in his presence she is terrified of it and so she rebels.... or makes a pretense of it.

It is a true thing that it is easier for a woman to ignore/tune out a man's pounding cock than a still cock inside her. Norman actually gets this right in a scene in Book 11 that I am reading now. I don't know why it is so, perhaps it is that with motion each sensation is fleeting and so is not fully realized and savoured.

Therefore in thinking about how a Master would need to deal with a girl like my alt who had come to the level of physical obedience but was still witholding responding to the Master in proper natural womanly surrender ... because that really is what frigidity is all about ... for me anyway... I imagine the following scene.

The Master summons her as he has summoned her many times before and gives a peremptory hand gesture that sends her to the furs to pleasure him. Obediently she goes to the furs and opens to him. He parts her lips and thrusts his cock hard inside up to the hilt causing a little "ooomph" to escape her, somewhat involuntary is that response from a quick hard entry by a large hard cock as the womb suddenly is lifted to collide with the diaphram which then causes a sudden gasp of breath. I don't think it can be faked and it truly is a delicious feeling. She wraps her long legs around his back as he likes and begins to contract and buck as schooled... when the unexpected happens...

The Master pulls her on top of him and then gives the hand gesture for "stay". (I find the idea of being controlled by hand gestures very sexy and appropriate in the M/s relationship) She is commanded to be motionless while kneeling on top of him, her knees on either side and his cock buried in her up to the hilt. With one hand he reaches up and grabs her collar pulling her head backwards arching her back, her breasts bobbing into an attitude of display.

The Master says, "now you truly know what it is to be in nadu. I want you to stay like this for awhile and think about this as your nadu from now on, the attitude of respect and ownership you owe your Master. Truly each time you assume this position you must feel what you will feel now. Why are the knees wide and your bud exposed but to remind you that you are owned. It is not enough to sit in nadu, you must always feel he who owns you at your core. You must always feel my rod within you" With one hand still on her collar holding her in position, the Master would take his other hand and begin to enjoy her breasts, if she resisted, he would command her to the bracelets position, hands behind back.

It is a physical fact that women's breasts are linked to their wombs and it is difficult for any woman to resist sexual arousal when she cannot deflect the massaging of her breasts. And so it would be with me, forced to remain still with the Master's cock firmly enthroned within. The teasing of the girl's nipples erect and the massaging of her breasts would bring hot wetness within telling the Master that she now was coming alive to him. A broad smile would appear on his face and the wanton girl would flush deeply that her body was betraying her.

And what would the new kajira in training be feeling? She would start to feel not just the superficial stretching of her lips around the Master's cock--the most immediately available sensation of penetration-- but she would be newly fully aware of the full length of him within her, and something primal would protest and want to escape. She'd be unable to resist trying to move a bit but the Master's hand would be firm on the collar and the other hand would pinch a nipple hard to remind her to be obedient to the "stay" command. She would be helpless to feel anything but to have the dawning awareness of the Master's full penetration become increasingly vivid to her senses. As her arousal grew she'd long to touch her clit or (more my habit) to somehow press her legs together in the way that women do to squeeze their clits and so pleasure themselves... not needing any male member to achieve this.... but in this position her clit has no stimulation, no easy way to sexual release. The only release she will have will be if she accepts her Master's cock as the ruler of her desires, and this is something she has not yet learned how to do. Her pussy grows hotter and hotter around him and he can tell how fully aware she is of his invasion, and he smiles with the knowledge of how much she clearly wants to escape, to have him out of there as his cock seems more like an impediment to her pleasure than the instrument of it. She is brought to a state of whimpering, pleading desire for easy release but it is not granted her. Instead he continues to arouse her while not permitting her release by any other means than his cock. Within she can't continue to resist her nature and is coming alive to him, her vagina is growing softer and more yielding. He smiles at the knowledge that her cunt is weeping for the cock that has mastered it and she knows that this place will soon become truly his. The Master can feel his girl then truly open to him for the first time...somewhat to her surprise.. as her cunt surrenders to him and begins to shudder around him with desire for his pounding and yearning for the hot wetness of his cum inside her.

A broad smile spreads on the Master's face and he says, "Now girl you may begin to pleasure me"... using a hand obedience gesture to release her from the stay.. and the girl understands and begins to truly pleasure him feeling her Master within her in the place that would always be his. She rises and falls on him, squeezes his rod within her, relishes the feel of him and massages her Master's cock with her pussy lovingly. When he then begins to pound her hard, she no longer hides from him but opens to him again and again, feeling each thrust as his as though it is his cock saying "mine, mine, mine" and her body now answers him truly with spasms of "yours, yours, yours" Her throes of orgasm and surrender seize his member in a loving and needy embrace wanting to drink deeply of him, thirsty for his explosion. The Master makes sure she remembers truly being fucked by him by extending this experience as long as he can until with a cry of triumph he releases into her and she yields up her shuddering surrender, weeping for joy and for sorrow for she will never again have any scrap of freedom. It is a type of orgasm that is very different from self-pleasure, difficult for a woman to come to but once learned, that woman will be tamed to the will of he who can evoke this in her. The love slave will then lay in your arms with all sweetness, feeling the wet streams of your cum down her legs, the ache in her gut from the recent pounding and the warm burning abrasion on her lips, the soreness in her nipples, and the shuddering aftershocks of her submission and they will all add up to the sum of the pleasure of truly being owned.

And so then truly the former hellion becomes gentled and owned in a new and real sense. This feeling will follow her to the most mundane of tasks so that if the Master sets her to scrub the floor and as she is scrubbing she thinks about disobedience she will immediately feel both his cock within her asserting that her body is his to command and also she will remember the Master's right to punish her body if she lags. The two sensations deeply in her body will prevent her from straying from his will. From then on when she sinks into nadu and spreads her knees apart, she opens within to her Master, always expectantly waiting for his entry, deep within her pussy she is remembering each subtle contour of his shape, and her body remembering who owns her.

Taming my rebellious alt

2009-03-04T09:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I am away from my Master the mind and heart wanders back to things discussed, experienced, or dreamed about.

Today I am thinking about the extra work and extra rewards offered by my rebellious alt and the path taken in her taming....

When she was branded, she emoted that the branding made her angry and cold and shrinking from you... that was totally an IC response ... (actually I was very hot).

She would emote that and her eyes would flash with fury and she'd curse her Master to the heavens and she would indeed tighten up her little pussy and shrink away... BUT... and it is an important but to know... she'd be very hot inside that pussy and hope that she couldn't get away from you that easily. She is testing Mastery.

She'd expect her Master to say with his characteristic smile, "Rant and thrash all you like girl as I enjoy the bucking all the more". Which would make her angry, amused and aroused all at once, basically she'd simmer for her Master. My alt does know that she is kajira but she has more fight in her than muse and has to put on these little shows of rebellion ... she is testing her Master... she needs to be fucked, none too gently, on the Master's terms, not hers a few times to make her slavery real to her, preferably while she is screamingly angry at him before she gets a little more gentle under his hands and is secure that this kind of crap will not drive the Master away, scare him off, or ever get her off the hook from her duty to pleasure her Master.

My Master cannot rape me, I am his. If in my confusion I resist his will, it is only part of my training that I will be tied up to stop me from hurting my Master or being hurt by him while you teach her how she is to be used.

Resisting him is crazy behaviour, not to be taken seriously. If she hits out at her Master, it causes him deep belly laughs.

Mixing punishment with sex is not our thing... but I am fully awakened only because my Master does not spare the rod at other times. When IC my Master really needs to deal harshly with her slips to assure that her tone and manner are fitting the new relationship, or she gets lazy or continues to test by becoming more mouthey and flip and this sets the training back. This can be tiresome and frustrating to both of us because really we want to get to the place where I sweetly and lovingly give power to my Master.

We both crave to enjoy the loving feelings between slave and Master. It doesn't hurt and may help the training to cuddle and for the Master to be gentle with her when she is being obedient, humble and trying hard to please, and indeed she has managed to be in that sweet loving place with her new Master sometimes, which is encouraging. The Master rewards her for it when she truly deserves it (which hasn't been very often).

But he doesn't let her get away with a thing. One or two times lately she has slipped up and started to behave in an ooc way while IC and she seriously immediately felt her tail tucked in expecting the crack of a crop on her ass. It was mildly disappointing and a bit confusing when nothing happened. She is hardly going to ask for it verbally, the Master knows when she is "asking for it.

On the whole, she responds better to a sense that any slip is immediately punished than if it builds up over time and she is severely punished. I know that the Master has a natural sense of when to reward and when to punish and she is actually tougher than muse. When she is thrashed now, she'll be angry and hurt... which means she is not yet fully Mastered, so she needs more not less. When the Master thrashes her and she feels embarassed that she has done wrong, ashamed that she has been punished, and then views the lash marks with pride at the firmness of her Master, she'll be there.

She has mentally submitted ... she has the right attitude and wants to please... but needs to feel Mastery in her body through sexual Mastery and through learning to humbly submit to punishment
.
These two things will bring the Master a respectful girl that will be more easy to handle and with less of a need to test his Mastery on an ongoing basis (which can be fun but also tiring and sometimes no doubt confusing).

And this will be half of the training of the tempestuous girl that snarls on the end of my Master's chain.

Weight of Collar Moment

2009-03-04T05:25:00.000-08:00

Note to my Master:

Recently I logged on twice and had "weight of collar" experiences.

When I logged on and a woman of Earth who was neither FW or kajira was visiting with you it was a good first step to kneel to a female friend of yours whom I liked and trusted. Yet I still simmered in the background with a sense of humiliation at kneeling to a woman whom you were treating as an equal while I was kneeling on the floor. Very hard for me, but I did it and felt like I had passed a small test of obedience, giving you more power.

Very soon afterwards I logged on and someone I was battling jealous feelings about, as I knew you had been close for sometime and I did not know her well, was sitting in the throne beside you and I almost poofed... but did not, because it would displease you ... it felt erotically charged to control my competitive feelings and treat her with respect... because I had no other choice as your slave. I was sorry she poofed because I wanted to demonstrate how obedient I could be to your will. I am intrigued by this .... I think that the idea that you have relationships with women of higher status is challenging to my limits... but the subtle stretching of those limits, the mild flush of humiliation on my cheeks worked in some small way to bring me safely to the edge again. ... where many more delicious possibilities dwell I might add! What is lost in status is much less valuable than the flowering of my femininity in response to your Mastery.

Seeing the Master and Mistresses chairs set out and having you suggest that you would have me dance for company has had me thinking about dancing lines for a gathered group and imagining myself roleplaying erotic dance lines with a group, and thinking about the scripted silks that allow for me to be stripped (almost) by anyone viewing the dance. I wanted to say, "No I only dance for you" ... well no... I really didn't go that far in my mind but I thought "I hope that it will only be people we know"... I was definitely made nervous by the suggestion.

But then.... I knew that I WOULD do as you asked. I WOULD make you proud.... and not only that but that it would be erotically exciting to have my Master compel me to dance for others despite any nervousness. I would feel the tug of the leash pulling me onto the dance floor, the steel in your eyes imposing your will and your hand on the whip ready to make it a whip dance.

For me the edge is always about you imposing your will on me, or punishing me when I fail in some way. And what that will might be is now and has always been frequently a surprise and that is what makes it an edge and keeps it fresh.

Logical Consequences

2009-03-03T14:47:00.000-08:00

One of the attributes of a great Master is the use of logical consequences and logical rewards. My alt's character more than muse's is inclined to back-talk and mouthiness... and also prone to over-analyze everything. My Master could beat her for it, get angry, argue with her, stomp away or otherwise allow her bad behaviour to ruin his day.

Instead he simply gags her... and from then on no matter what she may THINK she is saying all he hears is "mmmmphhhhttt".... until she is tired of being gagged and signals that anything coming from her mouth will be pretty and pleasing.

Or even more ingeniously the Master finds her something useful to do with her mouth that pleasures him.

Does this make me angry?

You bet it does!!!

But somehow being strung up and having a huge cock in your mouth does work a wonderful attitude adjustment. As angry as I am inside and wanting to talk about it, I can't because... oh yes... duh... I have this huge cock in my mouth... and my Master rather than reacting to the foolishness I have been spouting is having a good time and amused by it all. If I struggle his hands are on my breasts, calming me or pinching my nipples into obedience. If I am bad or unresponsive, a few sharp tweaks and I remember my manners, how to suck, lick, and caress him for his maximum pleasure. With one hand tightly coiled in my hair and another with a firm grip on a nipple he reminds me to choke back unpleasing words or I will be choking on something else very quickly.

And invariably by the time I feel him explode in my mouth or I am wearing his pearls on my face, I have forgotten what I was mouthing on about and am effectively and logically schooled to mind my words.

Cock Worship

2009-03-03T11:23:00.000-08:00

Did I get your attention with the title of my post?

"Ah"... the girl smiles noticing that the Master's cock has paid attention to her worshipful regard as she sits in nadu before him, wraps herself around one of his towering muscled legs and places a soft cheek against his manly bulge.

Ancient cultures worshipped the lingum, cock worship, as a sign of fertility. Why does that reduce modern folks to giggles... while by contrast we find it perfectly okay to worship the female principle putting earth goddesses in our offices and gardens?

I have had occasion to think about this a lot in my life. Unfortunately I am one of the many women who have had to recover from sexual violence and in coming to terms with what had happened to me I had to get into the mind of a rapist, try to figure out the "why" of that. Again and again when we encounter stories of rape, literature that involves the sexual abuse of women, what we encounter is the idea that the penis is dirty, penetration is demeaning and degrading, and that the value of the women is less because of the sexual act. That in fact sex is punishment. .... How screwed up is that?

As a woman, I had been socialized to think of my sexual organs as "a treasure", "a gift" for the man I loved. But in so much porn and popular cinema, the male organ was described as something that was dirty and degrading when employed in its natural and joyful purpose.

And so one way in which Master/slave play seems to me to restore a healthy balance is that in our world, his cock is a beautiful maypole around which I dance naked and adorn with flowers.

Within the confines of my chastity belt I burn with desire to have but a taste of his manly splendour. When the girl is graced with his plowing, her spasms of pleasure know no bounds. His cock is the sun at the centre of my solar system and all else revolves around his seasons.

Good morning, Master

2009-03-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

As the girl sees her Master for the first time in the day she comes quickly to his boots and makes a full obeisance at his feet.

She tastes the dust at his feet where he is free to leave her if he chooses. She offers him her outstretched hands for binding, should he choose to constrain her for any reason or purpose. Her tail is raised in the air like a submissive puppy.

From time to time, the Master puts the weight of the foot on the small of the girl's back to tilt it to an angle more pleasing to his eye, his inspection and his pleasure.

Her hair spills out on the dust at the Master's feet covering her eyes in a blindfold behind which she can only discern faint hints of the Master's movements.

She smells his closeness and listens intently to the sometimes long silences in which he leaves her. Every sound holds potential meaning. Was the rustle she just heard the sound of binding ropes?.... Is that the sound of the Master taking his leather paddle from his belt?.... Does she hear the whip being uncurled?

If anything weighs on the girl's conscience as needing punishment, her buttocks contract now, expecting the crack on her saucey backside any minute.

In fact the girl suspects that the Master can tell much of how she has been behaving by her physical attitude each morning in karta.

Sometimes the girl hears the sound of laces..... and tilts herself to accept the Master's cock as his early morning greeting to the one he owns.

Whatever transpires in the moments before the Master says, "You may rise girl".... the girl has reviewed her duties, performance, and renewed her commitment to serve him.

As she sits back at his command into a pleasing wide nadu, her bud has been moistened from her act of submission, as evidenced between her parted knees. As she rises and throws back her glistening hair, she looks up shyly from under hooded lashes to that point below the Master's belt. She will look no higher unless commanded.

She is in the attitude of worship and she has the object of her worship, her Master's cock, solidly in focus as the centre of her duties.

The Master said, "You are my landscape"

2009-03-01T21:06:00.000-08:00

I am your landscape
Gentle hills and rolling valleys
Warmed as they feel the sunshine of your smile

You paint me with pink blushes
Of your dappled light
Or shower me with rain
to swell the rushing rivers
in my welcoming valleys

You meet the challenge of my
untamed, rebellious dark mountains
with laughter as you find the crevice in my walls
A drop, a trickle, a torrent
you shape my rocky places to your will.

I am your landscape.

A Master with a Strong Hand

2009-02-27T14:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday another Master in our city, Marcos, happened to say to me, "yes it is said that women prefer a Master with a strong hand".

Somehow those words made me think and immediately realize that it was more a case of fearing a Master with a weak hand!

Within our community there is one Master who uses as his tagline in forum postings, "An abused slave is a happy slave"... and every time I see those words I get the shivers. I personally have no desire to be abused.

What I seek in my M/s relationship is the things that are not available/obtainable (at least not by me) in an equal relationship, or a relationship where I would call the shots.

For me equal relationships with men have always been an endless string of struggles for power. It is tiring deciding who get's to decide, what's fair, who's right about everything, everyday, 24-7. Those wrangles take a toll on intimacy. And how easy is it to say, "I was wrong. I screwed up" when you know that admission is going onto some spousal scorecard to be retrieved when the next argument comes up and he needs to impune your record of behaviour or reliability.

Personally I have been pretending to be perfect for so long and deflecting all criticism that there has been no real room for personal growth. And I can never let my guard down with an equal partner who is a constant sparring partner.

While I am trying so hard to get my way, maintain my power, win my arguments there is little room for me to feel sexy, feminine, loving, protected, cherished or .... OWNED!

I know my Master is not always right about things. He has his blind spots. I have mine. But having agreed that his decisions are final, a vast majority of opportunity for discord is eradicated. As he happens to be a wise, fair person who is happy to listen to my ideas, this does not feel like oppression but rather a natural and peaceful way to exist.

The strong hand becomes evident when my Master is not pleased with something, corrects me or feels I need to improve in some area. I'm totally unused to criticism in my life. I react terribly to it and generally have never spoken to people again who have strongly called me out on things I've done wrong. I run. I lie. I hide. I quit jobs. I break with friends. But I never, ever say, "I'm wrong. I'm sorry."

As a result my Master was riding a really bucking filly when he first tried to school me to new behaviours or ways of thought. I have seriously tried to buck him off me... slip the collar and/or annoy him so much he'd set me free during two episodes. He has used all the tools of the skilled horse trainer in getting his mount to obey his commands. Gentle words, calming hands, a firm grip on the leash, a touch of the lash and occasionally some sort of symbolic bit between my teeth... additional controls during troublesome periods. His patience and hardness during these times, I later saw as an evidence of his caring and self-Mastery. It would have been soooo much easier to have let me run away... forget me... so much harder to weather the stormy seas. Yet he did with remarkable calm, steely determination and .... yes a strong hand.

Alts

2009-02-26T19:57:00.000-08:00

There is little that is as controversial in SL Gor as the use of Alts (Alternative Avatars). The people who hate the practice feel that roleplay is diluted when people have so many identities that any one is seldom available to advance a story, fulfill a city or tribal function/duty. In addition, most people have heard of someone who was tricked or manipulated by someone creating an alt.

On the plus side, roleplayers will tell you that it makes things more authentic to retire a character for some time when it is killed in roleplay and to be able to have another character to continue to participate.

My character Muse was created to explore some very real in-depth human emotions in the M/s relationship. I decided to use an alt because my main avatar is closely tied to other activities in SL and RL connections. But with time, as the relationship deepened, our main avis also became M/s. So this blog in a sense is about two couples, two relationships.

Dancing with words

2009-02-26T19:39:00.000-08:00

Learning to roleplay I realized that whether one was roleplaying a serve, a plot, or a dance, it was all dancing with words.

One leads and the other follows, one step at a time. Take too many steps at a time and someone's toes get trod upon, you are no longer dancing together... you must be responsive as well as creative.

I grew to enjoy the fragile and evolving beauty of a flow of words woven by two (or more) hearts.

White Silk No More

2009-02-25T14:31:00.000-08:00

The true joy of the Master/slave relationship is when the Master chooses to claim what is his in his own time and manner and his submissive is quivering with excitement and desire.

So it was that after the Master had chastised his girl and heard the depth of her sorrow at displeasing him and the true beginnings of her slave heart's submission to him, she first roused him to take her.

Simmering as she had been and having freshly tasted his lash she was ready for--and expecting--his hot ravishment. Instead she was again surprised by the extent of his self-Mastery and how very well he knew her heart and soul.

He wanted to heal the damages of the past and to have a whole, happy, and sensual loving girl as his slave. Therefore he left me bound to the post while he forced gentleness and sweet kisses on me. As someone who had lifelong put sex in one box and love in another box, I can't imagine another circumstance in which I would have allowed such tenderness and intimacy while I was in a sexually aroused state. Instead I would have bucked to go to a quick and hot conclusion. But this shallowness was not what my Master wanted. He held me on the cusp while he roleplayed the gentlest, sweetest, opening that a virgin could have. In doing this he gave me something that I never had in my life. To the extent that it was possible, he restored my sexual responses to respond to his loving tenderness.

He was not going to be the Master of a broken thing, but the Master of a woman that was whole, loving and able to enjoy all the flavours of sensuality and all that he would require of me to give him pleasure.

Slave Paces

2009-02-25T12:05:00.000-08:00

The Gorean Slave Paces are as follows:

What are you, girl?
I am a slave, Master! La Kajira!

What does being a slave mean on Gor, beast?
It means I am property and owned, Master!

What are your duties, beast?
My duties are exquisite beauty and absolute obedience, Master!

How do you fulfill your duties, slut?
I am to serve, please and be pleasing to all Free Persons, Master!

When may a slave speak a Free Person's name, slut?
A slave may never speak the name of a Free Person, unless the Free Person has granted the slave permission, Master!

When may a slave say 'NO' to a command given by a Free Person, beast?
Never, Master!

A slave is always permitted the last words in a discussion. What are they?
Yes, Master!

Who may punish you, slut, and why?
Any Free Person may punish me if I am displeasing, Master!

How are you supposed to serve?
I must serve and please as if my life depends on it, for it very well may, Master!

These need to be learned by heart. You should be able to answer the paces whenever any Free asks them of you!

Muse's first punishment

2009-02-25T11:15:00.000-08:00

As a very new M/s couple, with real caring between us about establishing a mutually fulfilling relationship we approached the first time Muse got herself in trouble with some frank ooc chat.

It turned out that really my Master thought my rusty chastity belt comments were hilarious and he wasn't offended in the least. However his character Elovar, the prideful Tarnsman Commander, would have felt his masculine pride singed by the girls comments.

From my standpoint I had felt the heat of his IC comments in my heart as having displeased him. I remembered the heady, saucey feeling I had felt in bantering with the other girls. I was rebellious about being kept White Silk for that long and I had truly been making sport in an effort to provoke my Master.

I felt I deserved to be punished. The Master was troubled. He responded by dragging me back to the cabin, stripping me and tying me in the prone "bara" position and telling me that he had to contemplate the appropriate punishment.

As we had our out of character chats about what had transpired, how the Master felt about punishment, why he was keeping me in white silk for now.... I thought it likely that the outcome would be that he would return to the cabin and say that my punishment had been served by remaining there and waiting, wondering.

For not the last time, I was to be surprised by this Master's sensitive listening to his girl's submissive viewpoint. When he returned to the cabin, he expressed satisfaction to find me as he had left me and made it plain that things would have gone worse for me had I budged or covered myself. Nevertheless he understood that my offence was a serious one and punishment must be meted out to instill in me the need for a constantly respectful demeanour to my Master, or it could go much worse for me. The punishment was for my teaching and the restoration of my place.

He used a switch which he tested in the air a few times to his satisfaction and then having tied me to a post administered some stinging blows to my buttocks as punishment for my saucey remarks. He then surprised me by additionally asking me to recite the Gorean Slave Paces from memory as he beat me in response to any hesitation or error on my part to remember the words I was supposed to have memorized! I couldn't remember them verbatim, couldn't find the notecard. I was truly in trouble. As it happened I remembered most correctly but had some stumbles. I was receiving on top of punishment my initiation beating as a kajira, to solidly instill the slave paces into memory.

During this roleplay I truly got to a new level of submission to my Master, and the "edge" which had been somewhat dulled by the weeks as a White Silk and the mild trouble of inappropriate humour, was restored. I believe that my Master was reassured at my willingness to accept whatever direction his Mastery might take and became less worried about breaking my spirit with too much harshness, too quickly.

I was surprised at how proud I felt of his strong hand. My avatar wore a "warmed butt" appearance for about a week after that and I told everyone who would listen that my Master had thrashed me soundly for angering him with an inappropriate joke at the expense of his manhood. Men nodded in approval at his discipline and other kajiris shared my view that it was good to be owned by a strong Master.

White Silk

2009-02-25T10:53:00.000-08:00

For weeks my Master kept me as a White Silk... an unopened virgin slave. During this time I learned to follow him, observed some roleplay and we did some very simple roleplay as Master and slave.

The acts of kneeling at his boots in a position of parted knees, being kept naked or nearly so, made me expect to be sexually used at any time and kept me in a constant state of readiness.

It is said that before someone can Master a slave, he must Master himself. My Master was in total control of himself throughout this whole period, making it clear to me that he would use me only on his own schedule and that frankly it was my job to see to it that he was aroused and desired me.

For a woman that was used to being pursued by males, it was a very different dynamic to be placed in and to some extent I had difficulty adapting. At times I felt that I had worked hard to get to this point but had been found wanting in some way.

But as time went by I understood my Master's idea that a slave is best enjoyed and most pleasing to the Master when she has been left simmering for a time, so that she is eager to please and her passions are high enough to match the hot blood of the Master.

During this time I met some other kajiris and one night we were together in the square and had some high spirited girlish jokes about the length of time since our iron belts had been removed by our Masters. My Master overheard my own ribald humour about my rusty belt and gave me an IC (in character) reprimand about inappropriate comments. I was stung by his reprimand in a physical way.

Collared

2009-02-24T12:45:00.000-08:00

I found the training that my Master engaged in before my collaring to be substantially different than I expected.

I had some experience in writing erotically and so I expected to immediately engage in lengthy hot prose.

Instead muse had to learn to listen: with her ears, her body, all her senses and to respond with sensitive prose that was inclusive of the new information and direction coming from the Master. He set me simple tasks at first like describing wind in my hair and the gentle stroking of the fuzz on my forearm.

Finally, the exciting day came when I was going to be pulled into his world. I felt a true sense of danger and knew I was crossing over into another life. He met me at a pre-arranged place on his tarn and told me to ride behind him. For the first time I was a slave girl in Gor, riding behind an all-powerful Master. My heart was beating fast. I was not yet collared to him. What if he abandoned me, sold me, or I was captured by some stranger? I felt myself press my breasts into his back and becoming as seductive as possible in order to encourage him to take me when I begged his collar.

Setting down within the city, I fell to my knees and raised my arms over my head crossed in the attitude of female submission. In that position I begged his steel and promised to please him. The promises made him laugh because as Master, should he collar me, I WOULD please. There would be no choices. With a click of a steel lock, the solid collar snapped around my neck.... both a symbol and a tool of Mastery.

This was but my first step on the wild side of my female nature. I had much to learn and challenges ahead.

Musing about Gor

2009-02-24T12:15:00.000-08:00

Having read 7 or 8 of the Gor novels by John Norman, and having been an avid SF and fantasy reader for years, I have to admit that I do not find them to be great literature.

He recycles a lot of prose as he communicates in the guise of a science fiction story his own thoughts on the subconcious "natural" relationship between men and women. There is a lot that resonated for me and other things that chilled me, were no part of my desires or passions.

Yet these imperfect books have spawned a world wide movement in real life, on the internet and in Second Life. It is interesting that in the books, Norman suggests only a small percentage of the women of the planet Gor are slavegirls. Yet in Second Life there are far more kajiris than there are Masters to go around. Clearly something in a number of women makes them crave a relationship to a man that begins on their knees.

M/s and BDSM

2009-02-24T11:58:00.000-08:00

One of the largest misconceptions in SL about Gorean roleplay is that it is BDSM play. Particularly confusing the issue is the fact that a fair number of BDSM types have been drawn to Gorean roleplay and the lines have become muddied in some roleplay communities.

A dominant/submissive relationship does not necessarily mean that the sub enjoys pain or the dominant enjoys inflicting pain. In BtB (by the book) Gorean roleplay, punishment is punishment and pleasure is pleasure. The female submissive's state of arousal is maintained because she feels her Master's total power over her and any inhibitions she might have about her own sexuality are lifted from her as soon as the collar clicks around her throat and she is pulled to her knees at her Master's boots.

Many slaves (depending on their disposition and their Masters) are seldom or never punished. Their obedience and service to their Masters is always pleasing and satisfactory. This is very different from BDSM roleplay.

I am a Master

2009-02-24T11:43:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine in Second Life gave me this notecard which I found very helpful at times. I don't know the author. It was a Master she met in RL

I Am Master

The strongest bonds a Master can tie are those in the mind of His submissive...
I am a dominant man. I am just that.
I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part.
Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser.
I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body.
I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women.
Yet to you, I am Master.
I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness.
I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions.
You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions.
You tell me of the needs of your heart and body.
You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.
We are not equal. We are halves of a whole.
We compliment each other and make each other complete.
My desire to dominate you is instinctive.
It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine.
We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.
Knowledge is the factor.. wisdom is the key that unlocks the door .."...compatability is the fuel,...chemistry the flame
And in knowledge..... wisdom, compatability, chemistry and personal choice, the two become one, living the everlasting passion of spiritual soul mates."

You are My Slave:
You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood.
You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion.
You expect a man to stand strong and be a man.
You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man.
In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart.
You submit because I have earned your trust.
Because I have opened my heart and soul to you.
Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions.
And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you
have given me dominance over you.
What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman give a man.
You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me.
Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility.
I accept this from you with humility and joy.
I understand the rarity and purity of this gift.
I recognize it is your body and soul,
your heart and mind.
I dominate you only because you have allowed it.
I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other woman, and all the treasures of the earth.
What you give freely can not in reality be bought.
You are a woman.
You are not weak or inferior because of it.
You are a treasure to be cherished.
We are not equal.
I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you.
You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart.
Your belief in me gives me courage and direction.
Your strength disperses my doubt.
Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

Craving Mastery

2009-02-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

I remember very clearly the first time I realized that I responded to being Mastered, in my real life.

I was in my late teens and dating a much older man, who was also a large, strong and commanding person. I was very much in love with him but I was also a bit of a spoiled brat. One evening we were having an argument about the fact that he had invited people over when I wanted us to be alone. He was trying to get me to help with housework and dinner and I was sulking and then screaming at him.

At some point he shrugged and said something like, "I don't know what to do with you when you behave like a spoiled child." Then he pulled out a kitchen chair, grabbed me and turned me over his knee and spanked me hard and thoroughly. My emotions went from shock and rage, to shame and embarassment, to helplessness, and then suddenly I realized I was incredibly aroused and I started laughing and crying at the same time and saying, "okay, okay... you win... I'll be good."

He took my face in his hands and looked hard at me and said, "You sure you will behave yourself now?" And I felt all melty as I said, "Yes"..... He kissed me hard and pretty soon we were making love passionately, like I never had before.

I realized then that I had this sexual response to a man who would not take guff from me and would take control of situations.

To some extent I found this troubling and tried to deny my nature as I thought of myself as a modern, equal woman. I also found it troubling because I had experienced real abuse in my life and was worried that there was something wrong with me and that I would be drawn to truly abusive men.

Becoming a Muse

2009-02-24T08:08:00.000-08:00

Muse is my Second Life Alt (alterate account). My main avatar had been in Second Life for more than two years when I first learned of Gorean roleplay.

How it happened was this:

One day I visited the castle home of a long time friend from other places in SL and online. In the course of the tour he gave to myself and some gal pals of mine, he showed us his "dungeon".... and I felt a little embarassed as my friends were quite straight-laced. To defuse the situation and make light of it, I tried some of the devices.... and found myself aroused by the thought of my avatar caged, bound, and at the mercy of the Masterful male avatar I saw before me.

I was flustered by this and it was a long time later that I shared those thoughts.

He, who was to become my Master was surprised that I had those stirrings and unsure whether there could be a connection for us. He gave me the Books of Gor to read.... insisting I complete at least six books before he would think about collaring me and bringing me into his story.

I created Muse.... and sat her in a garden pavillion where she read daily and dreamed hot dreams of the Master she hoped would come and collar her.