Recently I came to my Master and I just seemed to irritate him and be in the way as his mind was on other things: building, preparing things for roleplay, etc. That's been happening a fair bit recently and I have in the past had a tendency to panic and cling and write desperate missives. All of which just makes him more irritated and exhausted with me. So what to do?
Well I neither want to push it, nor appear to go off in a snit. Not only would either action be pointless, my heart is not in it. Either he wants me or he doesn't and time will tell.
There are a few things I need to work on both for us and for other projects of mine, so my plan is just to focus on stuff I need to get done in both worlds, try to keep in a happy frame of mind and feel like I am giving him one of the biggest gifts that a kajira (who has nothing material) can give a Master--the gift of some space away from his girl.
It's a very hard thing for a loving girl to do.
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