Note to my Master:
Recently I logged on twice and had "weight of collar" experiences.
When I logged on and a woman of Earth who was neither FW or kajira was visiting with you it was a good first step to kneel to a female friend of yours whom I liked and trusted. Yet I still simmered in the background with a sense of humiliation at kneeling to a woman whom you were treating as an equal while I was kneeling on the floor. Very hard for me, but I did it and felt like I had passed a small test of obedience, giving you more power.
Very soon afterwards I logged on and someone I was battling jealous feelings about, as I knew you had been close for sometime and I did not know her well, was sitting in the throne beside you and I almost poofed... but did not, because it would displease you ... it felt erotically charged to control my competitive feelings and treat her with respect... because I had no other choice as your slave. I was sorry she poofed because I wanted to demonstrate how obedient I could be to your will. I am intrigued by this .... I think that the idea that you have relationships with women of higher status is challenging to my limits... but the subtle stretching of those limits, the mild flush of humiliation on my cheeks worked in some small way to bring me safely to the edge again. ... where many more delicious possibilities dwell I might add! What is lost in status is much less valuable than the flowering of my femininity in response to your Mastery.
Seeing the Master and Mistresses chairs set out and having you suggest that you would have me dance for company has had me thinking about dancing lines for a gathered group and imagining myself roleplaying erotic dance lines with a group, and thinking about the scripted silks that allow for me to be stripped (almost) by anyone viewing the dance. I wanted to say, "No I only dance for you" ... well no... I really didn't go that far in my mind but I thought "I hope that it will only be people we know"... I was definitely made nervous by the suggestion.
But then.... I knew that I WOULD do as you asked. I WOULD make you proud.... and not only that but that it would be erotically exciting to have my Master compel me to dance for others despite any nervousness. I would feel the tug of the leash pulling me onto the dance floor, the steel in your eyes imposing your will and your hand on the whip ready to make it a whip dance.
For me the edge is always about you imposing your will on me, or punishing me when I fail in some way. And what that will might be is now and has always been frequently a surprise and that is what makes it an edge and keeps it fresh.
When I logged on and a woman of Earth who was neither FW or kajira was visiting with you it was a good first step to kneel to a female friend of yours whom I liked and trusted. Yet I still simmered in the background with a sense of humiliation at kneeling to a woman whom you were treating as an equal while I was kneeling on the floor. Very hard for me, but I did it and felt like I had passed a small test of obedience, giving you more power.
Very soon afterwards I logged on and someone I was battling jealous feelings about, as I knew you had been close for sometime and I did not know her well, was sitting in the throne beside you and I almost poofed... but did not, because it would displease you ... it felt erotically charged to control my competitive feelings and treat her with respect... because I had no other choice as your slave. I was sorry she poofed because I wanted to demonstrate how obedient I could be to your will. I am intrigued by this .... I think that the idea that you have relationships with women of higher status is challenging to my limits... but the subtle stretching of those limits, the mild flush of humiliation on my cheeks worked in some small way to bring me safely to the edge again. ... where many more delicious possibilities dwell I might add! What is lost in status is much less valuable than the flowering of my femininity in response to your Mastery.
Seeing the Master and Mistresses chairs set out and having you suggest that you would have me dance for company has had me thinking about dancing lines for a gathered group and imagining myself roleplaying erotic dance lines with a group, and thinking about the scripted silks that allow for me to be stripped (almost) by anyone viewing the dance. I wanted to say, "No I only dance for you" ... well no... I really didn't go that far in my mind but I thought "I hope that it will only be people we know"... I was definitely made nervous by the suggestion.
But then.... I knew that I WOULD do as you asked. I WOULD make you proud.... and not only that but that it would be erotically exciting to have my Master compel me to dance for others despite any nervousness. I would feel the tug of the leash pulling me onto the dance floor, the steel in your eyes imposing your will and your hand on the whip ready to make it a whip dance.
For me the edge is always about you imposing your will on me, or punishing me when I fail in some way. And what that will might be is now and has always been frequently a surprise and that is what makes it an edge and keeps it fresh.
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